Merry Christmas

It's Christmas Eve and I am overwhelmed with gratitude for so many reasons.

first, I just want to thanks my parents.  Dad gave us a Christmas thought tonight that really brought the spirit into the holiday.  We have gone through a lot as a family over the last few years and it has taught us so much.  It is amazing to see how we have grown.  Dad said the closing prayer after his thought - I am so blessed to have such a wonderful priesthood leader in my life.  And my mom.  She gives everything for us and doesn't receive half the recognition she deserves.  I wish you could all feel the Christmasy of our home because she does such an amazing job bringing the season to life.

Now, to the meaning of Christmas.  On the last day of school, right before our Christmas break, on of my students said, "Christmas is about family, friends, and Jesus's birthday."  Coming from a kid, this is pretty profound and he isn't just a typical 6th grader, he is one who has special needs.

I am so grateful for my Savior.  Here are some amazing videos that the church has recently made about Christ's birth.  You can also read the stories as they are written in the New Testament.  Either way, take the time to study out the wonderful reason we celebrate this time of year.

I have such a strong testimony in my Savior, Jesus Christ.  Ever since I was a girl, I always felt a close relationship with him.  I have no doubt in my mind that he lives.  I know that he suffered through the atonement so that we could return to live with him and our Heavenly Father again.  He made it possible for us to not only repent and be freed from sin, but he also gave us life after death.  He suffered, not only feeling the pains of our sins, but all pains. Alma 7:11-13 talks of all that he went through for me and you.  He is the only person who truly understands all that we feel, whether it be heartbreak, loneliness, or just having a bum day.  I rely on him so much and I am so grateful for the love that I feel from him and the way I have learned to love through him.  I love my Savior.  I know he lives and I know that he loves me and you.  I know that he is "my kind, wise, heavenly friend" like it says in the hymn I Know That My Redeemer Lives.  I cannot wait for the day when I will see him again.  I cannot wait for that reunion.

What is Christmas with no snow?

No white Christmas with no snow...  And that is exactly what we've got in Utah.

I am watching White Christmas.  My third time for today.  AND I still can't get enough of it!

Last weekend, my default best friend and I took an adventure trip to San Diego, Disneyland, and Vegas.

Nick (that lucky man) caught a ride down with us.  We surprised him by getting him to Irvine in just over 8 hours!  The kid thought we'd be driving for 12 hours since he was with girls...ha!  We sure proved him wrong.

We were driving down the 5 and the beach looked amazing.  We stopped in Oceanside to take pictures.  It was close to 4, so not quite sunset, but the colors, rays of sunlight, and big dark clouds, made for a beautiful day on the pier.

 I told you.  Isn't it stunning.

When we got back to my car, we were reminded of the ginormous tumbleweed that Cami had driven over as we were driving in the middle of nowhere.

My poor baby had tumbleweed all up in his grill!

Of course, we had to get dinner at my favorite KILLER PIZZA FROM MARS.

sooooo good!  Love me some Cluck Rogers!

Jackie was our host.  I am just the luckiest girl to have such a wonderful friend in my life.  Jackie just moved into her new apartment and it is looking so cute!  Sadly, we didn't take any pictures together - something we used to do nonstop.  But we did make a quick stop so that we could buy our favorite game...

Love Sequence.  Jackie kicked our trash all three rounds.

The next day, Cami and I kept it pretty laid back.  We went to the Palomar ward and got to watch their Christmas program.  Then we visited with Jackie's family.  They are so sweet, loud, hilarious, and honest.  After lunch, we took Sunday naps and then made another stop at Killer Pizza just to visit my high school friends and watch the Chargers win!

love them.

And of course we had to get my favorite Mr. Taco...

sopes sopes sopes!

Monday was our designated Disneyland day...those pictures are coming soon!

another Thork Christmas card.

Check it!

tis the season

So, if you don't know already, Utah hasn't really gotten much snow for this time of year.  It doesn't even feel like Christmas and it is just around the corner.  School also gets out a lot earlier this year than it did last year and I am definitely scrambling to get everything in my class ready for a TWO WEEK Christmas break!

It started to hit me this weekend, so...

I remembered how I have been listening to Christmas music since November 1st when JB's Christmas album came out.

I remembered how I have visited Temple Square approximately three times already.

Then I...

 made a gingerbread house/castle

and I...

decorated my classroom with snowflakes.

I also...

made lots and lots of toffee,

followed by...

a few batches of oreo rice krispies (or santa's coal as Brady so cleverly named it!).

While watching White Christmas on repeat.

Now, if those things don't just scream Christmas, I don't know what else can!

P.S. I am going home to San Diego for a few days on Saturday! yayyyyy

sisters and brothers

Words cannot even start to express the love I have for my siblings.  I am so very grateful that I have been blessed with such wonderful, loving sisters and an absolutely adorable, sweet, and cool brother.  Oh my goodness!  I can't forget Scott!  That lucky boy became my brother-in-law this summer and he is the perfect match.

All of them are examples to me and I could go on forever talking about what each of them has taught me/ continues to teach me.  They are constantly loving me - more than I deserve.  My favorite though, is when they come visit my classroom.  Thinking about their amazing hearts working with my students really makes me cry...There is this light that shines from them and I am so proud to call them my brothers and sisters.

We are the masters of spontaneous dance parties and we rule on road trips.  Together we have created memories in Honduras, Egypt, Argentina, Chile, and everywhere between San Diego, Shaver Lake, Salt Lake and Yellowstone.  They can make me laugh like no one else can. . We play charades like pros.  We have hidden numerous items in mom's hair during our games of "boolah boolah".  All of us had parts with dad in the Thorkelson Circus.  We know how to watch scary movies and then scare Porter later.  And I love it most when we pull out old family videos.  We could watch those for hours. They really make me smile.  I wish I could tell all of the stories I thought of while looking for good pictures (which took forever AND was soooo fun btw)

I remember how hard it was to say goodbye to them every time I would leave for school.  It would break my heart and I would always cry as I drove away.  Now, though, I think they wish they could miss me again!  But, I love living with them and watching them grow up.  Hannah was only 8 when I left for BYU...and now, five years later, I am back at home, seeing them everyday.  I love getting to spend all of this time with them.  I have been able to take each of them on dinner dates since I have moved home.   And even though she is married, Kelsey and I now work at the same school so I see her more than ever before.  Scott will come visit the school at least once a week and they are at the house at least every Wednesday for Modern Family.  It's family time all of the time!

To the world's greatest sisters and brothers,

I look up to you guys more than you know.  I am so proud of who you guys are becoming, for the goodness that I see in each of your hearts.  I admire how strong each of you are and I hope you know that I love you with all of my heart.  I would never want to dance with anyone else.  I never want to play charades without you guys.  I have loved being your older sister.  I am grateful that I got so blessed to have you as my siblings.  I have loved changing a few of your diapers, taking care of you on road trips, and lugging you around like my own kids (remember when that one lady thought I was Port and Hannah's mom and I was only 12?! haha I am even thankful for that).

Thank you for being patient with me and thanks for loving me no matter what.

Love forever,
Your big sister.

"pillow talk"

The thing I miss the most about living with roommates is the late night pillow talk, where everything - all feelings, thoughts, dreams, fears, doubts, loves, etc - can and is expressed with no judgement, but just pure love and understanding.  Yes, living at home gives me lots of listeners, but none of them are in the sameish life situation as me - like roommates tend to be.

Mel and I got to have some time to really talk tonight (something we haven't done purely because sporting event keep us so busy and they are not very conversation friendly) and I am so grateful for the chat we had.  Of course we talked boys, work, future, basketball, boys, thanksgiving plans, etc...I got to be completely emotionally honest and have her understand a lot of what I am feeling.  

As a teacher, I get called mom quite a bit.  Some of my kids realize the mistake when they make it and either laugh or get real embarrassed and say sorry.  Others don't even notice and keep calling me mommy.  Today I was being called mommy in a search for sympathy.  One of my students needed to have their hearing aides checked and the poor kid did not want to go.  Tears were being wiped on my sweater and arms were wrapped around my neck as the hearing aides were being removed.  "mommyyyy.  moommmyyy" my little student whined into my neck.  Don't worry, this was a harmless and routine check up, but my kids know that I can't stand to see them crying and that I really do just melt when they even pretend to be in pain.  It was then that I realized how much I think I am ready to be a mom, to give my whole heart in a different way than I do to my students...

Being single is definitely not easy, especially when my kids remind me how much I am ready for a family, but Mel told me that I need to remember why I am grateful that I am where I am (specifically why I am single) right now.  I should be grateful that I have a career and that I am actually experiencing the world of teaching.  Grateful that I can go to San Diego, cruises, New York, or Texas because I feel like it!  Grateful that I am experiencing being independent - even if that means paying bills and going to church, the gym, and the grocery store on my own.  I am grateful that I have this time to make myself into the person I want to be.  Grateful that I have made all of the friends that I have because that's what you do when you're single.  Grateful for these trials, because someday, he will make all the years and pain of waiting completely worth it! haha So, I might be a little bit of a hopeless romantic.

I am thankful for all of the wonderful roommates I have had - all 14 of them have taught me a lot about myself and life in general.  I have learned to live with a variety of personalities and love it!  I am grateful for our memories, our chats, the adventures, and our dance parties.

things that make me happy

All things I am grateful for make me happy, but these are just a few things (definitely not all things) that instantly make me smile.

• anything yellow
• the sun
• water
• the beach
• temples, especially the San Diego temple
• BYU sports
• phone calls
• old friends
• new friends
• my students
• good/funny quotes
• pictures
• the gym
• emails and letters from friends
• when a song i love starts to play
• chocolate covered cinnamon bears
• rainbows and just the beauty of the world in general
• thunder and lightning
• i'm thinking of you texts
• walking on campus
• field trips
• bowling with my students!
• getting a high score of 96 while bowling!

A few other thoughts from today:

I went to my ward's FHE tonight.  The first one I have been to in this new single's ward.  Our activity: speed dating.  Cheesy...yes, totally.  BUT it was just what I needed.  I haven't been social.  I haven't talked with complete strangers.  All because I don't have anyone to meet people with - No Aubrey, no roommates...I have met Kelly though and she has made all the difference for me in this new ward and together we braved speed dating and I got that social fix that I needed!  Who knows if I will meet these boys again...but I have to admit, I might have put a yes next to each of their numbers because I just want to have friends AND I loved the boys who asked questions and maintained good eye contact. That made me happy.

I also got to talk to the Sam Preston on the phone tonight.  He makes me happy.  We talked about his mustache for a little bit.  Mustache's make me think of Robi and that really made me happy.

So tonight, I am grateful for all of the little things that I love that make me happy!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

I am trying out the singles ward in Draper, all by myself - something I hate doing.  But, I love that it doesn't matter where I am going to church or whether I am sitting surrounded by friends or all by myself, I can still fill the spirit.  I am still being taught the same doctrines.  Even when I went to church in Mexico and sung hymns and listened to lessons in Spanish, I was being spiritually fed.  That's when you know it is true.

I am so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  It is one of the most wonderful blessings in the whole world.  I don't know where to begin or how to explain how much I love the gospel.  It fills my heart with so much joy.  If you want to learn more about what I believe, you can check out mormon.org.

I know it's true and I love it.

weekends

I love my class.  A lot.  And I know I talk about how much I love them ALL of the time, but weekends are so necessary.  Not only do I need my Saturday and Sunday away from school, but they need it too!

I am thankful for my weekends.  Thankful that the bell rings on Friday afternoon and I don't have to go back to school for TWO days!

But, I am also thankful for Mondays, when I can see my sweet kids again.

just a little humor in my life

Please do not over look my last post, because I really want to focus on what I am thankful for...

I know, two posts in one day!  Lucky you.

Mostly this is just a little story to give you a tiny laugh.

So.  I am single and I live at home. haha It isn't that bad.  Plus, I keep hearing on the news that it is a real issue around the nation thanks to crazy expensive college tuition, so I must be ok (except, that isn't why I am living at home...).  My family is wonderful and, for the most part, they are always looking out for me.  Especially when it comes to looking for men to set me up with.  Sydney is trying real hard with this one because once I move out, she gets her own room.

Well, this time, it wasn't Syd who found the next love of my life.  It was my aunt Michelle.

Mom texted me at work asking me to call her when I had a sec.  Of course, I called her a few minutes later.  She excitedly told me that Michelle was at lunch and that her waiter was super cute, single, and a BYU graduate.  Wonderful.  Then she told me that Michelle had given him my name so that he could look me up on the one and only facebook haha (I swear this has happened to me before...).  Mom is a little concerned about my facey profile.  I have a bunch of baby pictures that dad has just tagged me in and my profile picture is "a lot more central park than Tati.  Maybe you should change your pictures?" I laughed.  I can't access facebook at work, and  if there was another profile picture I wanted to use, I would have changed it already. PLUS, who says this boy is even going to look?

Then, a few hours later, Michelle calls.  Oh, she made him sound amazing.  About 6'2'' with a trillion nieces and nephews who absolutely love him! He is a huge BYU fan (super score for me!) and just a genuine guy.  She thinks we would totally hit it off together!

Great, now I sort of want this guy to find me.  But, if I never hear from him do I have to live self consciously, thinking that he looked at my pictures and thought ehhh she is alright? haha  Do I change my pictures?  Or have the excuse that he never contacted me because I didn't change anything?

So this is what dating has come to - how I have portrayed myself on the fb.

Luckily, most of this story telling and all my reactions are exaggerated (purely for humor of course).  I am really happy with my life just the way it is - but, in the unlikely case that I hear from mysterious-good looking-BYU grad-waiter, I will for sure let you know :)

parents

Tonight, I am thankful for parents.  Yes, I am very grateful for my mom and dad (see 11/9/11) , but I want to recognize the parents of my students.  These are superhero parents.  They are overlooked and rarely get the recognition and thanks that they deserve.

We had our Thanksgiving feast at lunch today and invited parents to join us.  It was just the school cafeteria cold turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie lunch - so nothing exciting or too appetizing - but we had a good amount of parents show!  I loved every minute of it and was teary eyed more often than not.  There was a feeling of unity in my classroom this afternoon.  All stresses disappeared because my classroom was a place where no parent was going to be judged because of their child, a place where they understood each other. and a place that my class has filled with love.  I got to see the precious moments when my students saw their mom, dad, or grandpa at the door.  I got to see the bond that they had with one another.  Everyone was smiling, parents were sharing stories, and students where introducing their friends.  It was more than wonderful.

I know that having a child with special needs is not easy, but I also know that a family would not be blessed with such a child unless they were absolutely amazing and capable of loving/learning from a child with special needs.  I say blessed because it really would be a blessing to know that you have been entrusted with one of the sweetest souls on the earth.  I say it wouldn't be easy because I know it would be one of the hardest trials a family could go through...

So, I want to send my gratitude and love to all of those parents who care and love for a child with special needs, especially to the parents of those whose children have been in my class.  I recognize everything you do for you student - whether it is making him a peanut butter and nutella sandwich because it is his favorite or making sure she looks absolutely beautiful everyday for school.  I have seen the pain of not knowing where he or she is...and I have also seen and felt the joy of the reunion.  I am amazed with the things you push to see your child accomplish.  I see your faith and feel your love as you help them reach for their dreams.  I have seen you sign them up to compete in special olympics, take dance classes, or play soccer with ball as big as them!  I see you take family vacations, just like any regular family, like Disneyland or cruises.  I love your courage and your desire to allow your child to experience everything a normal child would.  Thank you for your example of selflessness and pure love.

my provo/byu friends

So many people hate on Provo, but can I just say that I absolutely loved it!?!  I lived in some amazing places down there and I am most grateful for the people that I met.

I always had the most wonderful roommates and we picked the greatest wards in Provo.  My roommates are girls that I still talk to and many of them are my very closest friends.  Goodness, I love them and I don't know what I would do without them!

Aubrey was in town last weekend - greatest time ever.  First, I am so grateful for my best friend.  Aubrey is wonderful and I could spend days with her and never get sick of it. Of course, her visit was super fast, and somehow we got like zero pictures, but less 48 hours is so much better than no hours.  Because she was here, we got to have a dinner with all of our closest friends over our 4 years at BYU.  It was a wonderful few hours.  I took for granted all of the friends I made down there.  Living half an hour away and with my parents has really stumped my social life.

Then basketball has started.  Just another way that I have met more fan friends than I can count.  We had a game last night and it was so fun to sit with them.  Rosie just makes me so happy and Melanie always brings the spice.  Preston even joined us, which he hasn't done for such a long time because of his cool athletic marketing internship.  Our group has definitely shrunk between this season and last season, but my favorites are still around or nearby.

I have memories with these friends even outside of Provo.  I have gone on a cruise with Cami, the teacher I now work with and one of my best friends from the special ed program.  I have gone to basketball tournaments in Vegas with so many friends.  I have been on road trips.  I have risked my life on the stratosphere with these friends.  Bowl games.  Disneyland adventures.  A study abroad in Mexico!

But, that does not mean I have not loved every memory I had IN Provo, or at least, nearby.  Off roading with Robi.  Dance parties - especially those at s7 and the ones we used to have at three layers of heaven.  Oh and, of course, all of the ones Aubrey and I would put together.  Thanksgiving feasts with a ward auction.  Saturday hikes.  A summer full of running.  Spending time on campus.  Pillow talk with roommates (something I miss so much - even the ones Mel liked to start when I was just about to fall asleep haha Love you Mel!).  Ice cream parties because that roommate finally kissed the boy.  First kiss.  First boyfriend.  Seeing your best friend on campus wearing your clothes :) Having access to there clothes.  Going to the U to watch BYU win.  Watching meteor showers up the canyon.  Getting lost while hiking Stewart Falls.  I better stop now or else it won't end...Sometimes I am grateful for my strong memory of past memories and the nostalgia that I have.

I also have had wonderful bishops, counselors, and professors.  They have had a very strong influence on my life.  I am very grateful for their love and guidance.

I wish I could post pictures of these memories, but then I would never sleep.

I really loved every minute of Provo, even though I left it still single. I am very thankful for the friends that I have made and especially grateful for those that have stuck around in my life.

my aides

Today, I am grateful for the three wonderful women who work with me in my classroom.  More than just grateful.  I cannot explain the amount of gratitude I wish to share with these ladies.

I saw this this morning. - You should read it.  It is sad, but an eye opener.

 A 14 year old special needs student was bullied.  Not by fellow students BUT by her teacher and teacher's aide.  That makes me sick. It broke my heart.  I know that teaching special education is not always easy, in fact, it is often very hard, but that is not an excuse!  The love that you develop working with these kids outweighs the difficulties...and sadly, this is not the first time I have heard of a special ed teacher being abusive towards students.  It makes me wish that I could watch over each of my students for the rest of their lives to ensure that something like this NEVER happens to them.


Aides are huge in the life skills setting.  I have only worked with wonderful aides, but not all new teachers (I guess I am not so new considering this is my third year, but I still feel plenty new!) are quite as lucky as me!

I have three aides in my classroom this year who love my students as much as I do and it is obvious.  I only kept one of my three aides from last year and I was worried about how the dynamics in my classroom would change with two new aides.  Guess what?!  They are all absolutely the most wonderful aides any teacher could ask for!  More than anything, they have helped to create a positive environment in my classroom, one of learning and one that is full of love.  They reinforce positive behavior.  They support me.  They are so clever!  Each of them bring so much to my classroom!  From knowing regular ed curriculum, to patience with specific students.  From manning their individual stations to arts/crafts/decorating.  From helping each student reach their goals to teaching them through example. Gosh.  Without them, I would not be able to do anything.  Without them, I would not be a successful teacher.



Ms. Tammy, Ms. Lisa, and Ms. DJ,

You guys have been an answer to my prayers since the first day I started teaching.  I am amazed at the things you do, both in my classroom and at home with your families.  I learn from each of you everyday.  Your faith and love give me strength on days when I am overwhelmed by the not-so-fun parts of teaching.  Your optimism keeps our class happy.  Your humor brings a smile when I need it most.  I am most thankful for your love though.  It is so nice to know that, especially on days when I am not in the classroom, each of our students will feel loved at school.  Thank you.  Thank you over and over again.

With so much love,
Miss Thorkelson

swimming

I have missed a few days - a weekend that I am very thankful for, for many reasons, and I will try to catch up.

But tonight I am thankful for swimming.  I know this is a strange one, but it makes me happy!  Water is definitely my element.  So much so, that if I could pick any super power it would be to be able to breathe under water.

Some of you might be surprised to learn that once upon a time ago, I was a fairly decent swimmer!

I was born a water baby - always wanted to be in the water, never wanted to get out.

 Dad taught me to swim at a pretty young age and I remember just wanting to race my best friend Alyse anytime that I could. We grew up at the pool with regular visits to the beach.

I knew that once I got to high school, I was going to start swimming competitively.  When spring oh my freshman year came around and swim was getting ready to start, mom and dad decided to go on vacation and I was going to miss the first week of practice.  Back then, I was shy and timid and decided just not to swim...I wish I had started then.  But, it's ok, I started with the swim PE class the next year and swam varsity for the next three years. Long story short, coach forced me to learn to be pretty good at the butterfly (all I can remember is that I eventually got my 50 fly to under 30 seconds...), but my true love was backstroke.  Goodness, those were the days of tan lines and great shoulders...

...and not so glamorous swim pictures

But let me tell you why I am thankful for it today.  Porter and I went swimming together tonight.  I LOVED it. I love the feeling of water all around me.  I love how fast I feel and think I am moving.  I love how each pull through the water makes my arm stronger.  I love kicking until my legs burn.  I love holding my breath until my lungs are ready to pop.  I love sweating, but no one can tell because I am in water.  I love the cold of water bottle water while I stand in at the wall (if that makes any sense at all!).  I love flip turns!  I love that the smell of chlorine still gives me butterflies.

I am grateful for my body that can swim.  I am so thankful that my dad taught me how to swim.  I am thankful for Alyse who helped me learn to be competitive.  And I am grateful to Coach Baker.  He saw potential in my butterfly and pushed me.  He only made me swim breaststroke once (haha mostly because after that, he realized my breaststroke was slower than half of the JV team...).  He gave me the responsibilities of team captain for two years.  He helped my passion for teaching swim grow.

And now, I dream of teaching swim lessons/water therapy to students who have disabilities.

my students

I know I talk about my class a lot.  I cannot help it! I am so so so grateful to have them in my life and it has made me the luckiest/most blessed person in the world.

Over my three year teaching career I have had 36 students.  Many teachers have this many kids in just one year, but with a life skills class, it is a whole different story.  Each one of my students has taught me new and wonderful things that have helped me become a better person.  Each day they make me happy.  They make me laugh over and over again! They make me feel loved and I love them so much in return.  I have come to find that I cannot just give my heart out to people, but to my students, they instantly hold my heart in their hands. They test my patience, but it makes me stronger.  Not only do they strengthen me mentally, but they strengthen me physically - oh the smells, the fits, the messes we make.  They show me glimpses of heaven.  They have taught me pure love. They make me want to be the best person that I can be.

My classroom is my place of refuge.  My first year of teaching was the year Robi died and the year that I had my first break up.  I just knew that I had to be with my kids the very next day because of the love I felt.  How many people can say that about their jobs?  I have been sick one day this year and I was miserable because I didn't get to say good morning to each of them and see their smiles, hear their hi miss thorkelson, or laugh at their good morning grunts.  When I am with them, the chaos of my world (or my current lack of a social life and friends in my new home) disappears and does not matter at all.  Such a blessing!

The class I have this year is by far the best behaved class I have ever worked with (and that is not bashing on my previous classes because I love them just as much!).  I wish everyone could see and acknowledge how awesome we are during assemblies!  Sometimes, I can be a brilliant teacher.  For example, at the beginning of the year, I had them create rules as a class for when we are at lunch, in assemblies, at recess, on field trips, in the library, in the halls, etc...and they are pretty good at following those!  They are mostly quiet when I ask them to be.  They sit in their seats (sometimes) the first time I ask.  They clean up super fast (especially when I set a timer).  They work hard during rotations.  They are learning so much already! ahh I just love them.  Our field trips are fabulous, fun, and full of great memories.  I love it!

But, it isn't always easy.  Today, I had to be mean.  I am terrible at this and I so much hated doing it.  All of my kids are lucky enough to go into regular education classrooms (bless the wonderful teachers who allow them to come in!) for science/social studies and specialty classes.  I found out that they aren't on their best behavior in these classrooms and that is not acceptable, especially when they are almost always angels in my class.  I made them sit.  We discussed what is appropriate and what is not when we are in other classrooms.  They helped me create rules for when they go into these classrooms.  I was serious about this and they knew it.  I asked them if the way they had been acting in the other classrooms was very nice to those teachers.  I had a few of them sniffling (I am not sure why, because I can't really yell and my mean face is not so mean), but I think their poor, sweet hearts felt bad for the way they had treated their teachers.  The sadness was thick and it was like they really, truly understood.  Of course, this had me all broken hearted and I had to end with a class hug so that they knew that I still loved them.

I could not LOVE my job anymore.  Teaching a life skills classroom is such a blessing in my life.  Each of my students has made my heart one million times bigger.  Who I am with them is the person I someday hope to be all of the time.



So not only to my students, but to every child/young adult with a disability that I have worked with as a high school student, a para educator, and a teacher - thank you for letting me be a part of your life.  Thank you for teaching me what is important.  Thank you for loving me!  And letting me love you.  You will never know the impact you have had on my life.

I love you with all of my heart,

Miss Thorkelson

Counting my blessings, one by one.

I know everyone has started listing things they are thankful for this month and I am going to have to copy that because I have become overwhelmed, to the point of an achy heart, of things/people/memories that I am grateful for.

I want to start with my parents.

aren't they just the cutest!?
 

Dad has always said that he met mom on his mission.  That's partially true.  He served in Paraguay while my mom's family was living there.  Mom was going to BYU at the time, but would visit during the holidays.  Grandpa was in the mission presidency and dad would go to their house and knew mom's family.  Grandpa found a picture of dad eating dinner with the family and dad has a picture from a conference and just two rows in front of him you can see my mom and aunt Michelle.  But, they really met and  fell in love at BYU (of course)!

They were just kids, my age even, when they had me.

notice the baby faces. also notice how they weren't sure how to do baby hair.  mom was lost on the whole straight hair phenomenon that i was born with.

My whole life, they have been my closest friends.  Yes, they laugh at me (but who can blame them, I am funny!).  Sometimes they call me things like a Diva - this has become mom's new favorite name for me and I can't figure out where it came from but she thinks it is hilarious.  Sometimes they even get mad at me...oops. Now that I am home, mom will sometimes make an extra sandwich for me (thank you thank you mom!).  Sometimes dad will help me figure things out like insurance/benefits and new tires.  Mom will even come in while I am cleaning my bathroom to make sure I am not mixing the different cleaners (that made me laugh).  Both of them check in on me because I am still their little girl and I love that.

I went into the kitchen this morning and both of them were there.  This is the greatest thing about living at home.  I get to talk to both of them about everything and anything, in person.  They are there to guide, support, counsel, comfort and strengthen me.  They understand the things I am feeling and sometimes, I think they still know me better than I know myself.  It would have been a really rough morning for me if I hadn't had them there to talk with me about the things that were worrying me.  So thank you mom and dad for making time to be there this morning.

I also love how much they love each other.  This morning my dad was doing the dishes.  Mom came in a little surprised, but then just smiled.  They make each other laugh.  They make us laugh with them.  They pray together.  They serve together.  They go to the temple together.  They are a wonderful example of what I someday want.  Last August, they celebrated their 24th anniversary.  So sweet, I know.

yep. sometimes they still kiss in front of us - it used to be gross.

I think they have done, and are continuing to do, a wonderful job raising me and my siblings.

So, mom and dad, thank you.  Thank you for being the best parents for me.  Thank you for your examples, your patience, and your love.  I love you guys so much.  

With all of my heart,
Your kukiluki

best time of the year!

I absolutely love November!!!  Can you guess why?

No.  It is not because I get to start layering on all of my cute winter clothes...

No.  It is definitely not because the snow is starting to fall...

No.  It's not just because of Thanksgiving, although I do love that too!

Yes!  It is because my favorite sports overlap for just a very small, little minute.

That's right....Football isn't quite over and basketball is just starting up.  BYU football has their last game on December 3rd.  Football has three games left.  BYU basketball played their blue and white game on October 26th and has since played their two exhibition games.  Basketball has 7 games before and one on December 3rd.  I love being busy with sports!

Football:  Nothing beats walking to LaVell Edwards Stadium from south of campus.  I did it for years, so out of pure love for tradition, I still park down there and walk with the crowds of fellow cougar fans to the stadium.  I love getting to games early and I hate being there late.  I love dodging people as I giddily walk through the stadium.  I love the smell of cougar tails and delicious cinnamon roasted almonds.  I love walking to the southeast corner and down through portal P, up the sidelines a little, to my seat.  I have watched the game from about this spot for three years now.  I tried watching it from the old folks side earlier this season - could not do it!  Plus, I think we play better when the boys can hear me screaming.  I love pictures with Cosmo.  I love memories of pulling his tail!  I love layering on the clothes so I can watch the game through snow and rain. I love when I can get a smile, a wave, or both from my favorite boys on the field.  I love watching football and I love when we win. I love football because I have my same seat, every game.  Such a luxury!

Basketball:  I love basketball because I have to fight for my same seat, every game.  My love for BYU basketball runs deep because of the all of the time I put into it!  Days and nights spent in a freezing tent outside of the Marriott Center.  Camping out for games started with Eric Glem, Brady Fish, and their crew.  Aubrey saw their tent out one night, our sophomore year, five years ago!, and we had to get a tent up right behind them.  Ever since, camping has given me anxiety attacks, that are only worth it once our spot in the front of the line has been secured and I find my seat down at the front.  I love the way camping brings fans together.  I have met some of my favorite people via Camp Cougar.  I love dance parties outside tents the night before a game.  I love the beep as they scan your sportspass and you walk into the Marriott.  I hate the running as I try to still beat people from getting to my seat.  I love relaxing, sitting on the bench, realizing I now have two hours until the game starts.  I love trying to awkwardly lay across the bench to get a nap in.  I LOVE when I hear "Cougar fans, it's time!"  I love sing/yelling "oh oh oh oh oh" and jumping until our boys come out.  I love every picture I get with Cosmo.  I love that I saw all four years of Jimmer.  I love watching basketball.

I got to experience these amazing sports in a way that many have not.  I would, and still do it, over and over again.  I do hope though, that camping settles down for basketball though and that being in line a few hours early will secure my spot - camping out is extremely hard to do with a real job.

Being at LaVell Edwards stadium and the Marriott Center is almost like being home for me.

And for these reasons, I wish November went on forever.

boston! to CT and back to NYC

Boston was beautiful!  The colors were stunning.  There was something so classy and quaint about it.  I loved being there.

We stayed in a hotel out in Tewskbury.  Aubrey was a fantastic driver and we made it between the Tewks and Boston safely everyday.

Saturday morning was the big day at the single adult conference.  We got there a little late, but made it for all of Sister Oaks' wonderful words.  We also caught the end of Clayton Christensen's words.  All I am going to say about that is that priesthood holders, please do everything you can to stay active and always be worthy of the priesthood. 70% of the single women in the church stay active, but only 30% of the men do.  Odds are not in favor for us ladies.

But let me talk a little about Sister Oaks.  She was amazing.  Did you know she has a masters in Special Education?!  Very neat.  She was single until she was 50.  She said that people would always ask her what it was like to be single in the church.  The way she explained it made perfect sense!  She compared it to being on the bench, waiting to play on the baseball team.  Everyone else is going in, except for you.  You have worked your whole life to play in the game and you know that you have so much to offer.  People keep asking you why you aren't playing.  They know you have the skills needed to help the team succeed.  You don't know why you aren't out on the field, because you agree and you so badly want to play!  The worst part isn't that you are being picked last, it's that you haven't been picked at all. She continued to talk about how women relate so much of their self worth to marriage.  It's true.  And the minute she connected it to sports, it all made sense!  That's exactly what it feels like.  Yes, I know I am only 23, but I know that feeling.  Anyways, I loved everything she had to say.

We had great break out sessions and hopefully one day, I can explain the things we talked about and everything that I learned!  It was a day of great spiritual growth.  The sun was out and we spent some time exploring the Charles River.

After the break out sessions, we ate at Texas Roadhouse for dinner.  It was my first time there and I ate way too much and loved it!  Then it was finally time for the Harbor Cruise where we got to dance the night away.  We had so much fun!  I love those Harbor Cruises (I have done two in San Diego, one in Seattle, and now Boston!).

Sunday we left to for sacrament, only like 20 minutes away, but got there like an hour late.  There was absolutely NO parking and we walked the wrong direction to start...well, we eventually made it.  After church we explored Harvard

and then started the trek down to Connecticut, where everyone else caught a train while I finally got to see where Aubrey grew up and spend some quality time talking to her parents and even some late night talking with her mom.  Sure love the Potters!

Monday was a blur of a day.  I spent my time back in NYC just wandering.  More time at 30 Rock and anthro. (Found out I had missed filming for 30 rock outside by like a day! oh how I would've loved that...) Then I met Aubrey and Mark for lunch.  When it was time for me to go, I said sad goodbyes (although they weren't so sad since Aubrey will be here next weekend!) and then I met up with a random friend from San Marcos to make the subway/air train excursion back to the airport.

Overall, it was a very successful trip.  One that I loved and hope to do over and over again!

Aubrey - you're the best friend a girl could have.  Thank you for the time you made for me and thank you for being my best friend.  I cannot wait to see you again in TEN days!

from new york to boston

I know this is taking me a while, but I am on day three of my east coast trip.

Friday, we did one of my favorite things to do in New York.  Aubrey and I took row boats out in Central Park. Last year, we did it with Mel and Lacey and we hardly got anywhere!  It was hilarious.  This year was just as fun, but we moved a whole lot faster and actually explored the lake.

After rowing for an hour, we ran to Crumbs for some cupcakes to bring on our road trip to BOSTON!  That's right.  By 1:30 on Friday, we were in the car and headed up to Boston.  The road trip was so much fun with music and dancing!  We made a pit stop in New Haven, CT for pizza and took a break for the cupcakes.

We also went shopping...of course...at some outlets along the way.  There were some great deals.  A few of the girls went to a concert as soon as we got into Boston and the rest of us were out to a dance party some kids from church were throwing.  It had been a long time since I last danced with Aubrey.  That was absolutely so much fun.

I bought this beauty at the NBC store in New York for $5.  It makes me happy.

my week on the east coast. continued.

day 2:  (see three posts down for day 1)

This day started with an early wake up call and a trip to the temple.  It would have been perfect, but of course, I forgot my temple recommend on my dresser at home.  Bummer.  But that's ok.  I spent an hour walking around while the girls did baptisms.

the beautiful manhattan temple

After that, Kaitlan made us breakfast and it was so delicious.  Thank you very much! Then I pretty much had forever to explore whatever and wherever I could.  All on my own.  So I started in Central Park and can I just tell you how much I love that place?  Because I totally love it.  It is huge, beautiful, colorful, and peaceful. A good break from the city.

love this place.

Then of course it was back to Rockefeller because that is one place I can get to AND it makes me unbelievably super happy.

"i want to go to there." i always have! and i did. LOVE 30 rock

After having some good laughs walking through the NBC store, I went back to Anthropologie.  That's right.  I went back. haha This time I bought the things I asked to be put on hold.

i fell in love...but money kept us apart.

Aubrey met me at Anthro and we had so much fun in the fitting rooms.  It's the best, buying clothes with your best friend.

Then I made the trek to Macy's.  What girl doesn't love Miracle on 34th Street?  Plus mom told me they had delicious macaroons in their cafe.  I got there and they told me the bathroom was on the 6th floor and the cafe was in the basement. haha For real!?  But they had some really cool, old, classic escalators. 

i never found the macaroons though...

Kelley and I met at anthro  (again...I know, but she was going in for a job interview) and walked back home. While walking, we grabbed pizza and ate lunch in Central Park.  So fun!  Then we hit up Magnolia's for some banana pudding. 

to die for.

After a quick stop at home, we set off to meet everyone at the WTC Memorial.  Of course our subway got stuck...I guess someone got sick a few trains in front of us?  I don't know.  But we sat there for like 20 minutes, got little mini naps in, and then decided we had to make a run for it.  Don't worry.  We made it on time.  And it was really amazing.

it was so peaceful.

i was only 13, but i remember that day so well...

i loved the flag in the background

Next, it was off to Bubby's for some grub!  We were so excited for their pancakes...until we found out they only had those between midnight and 11:00 or something.  Bummer.  But the food was delicious anyway and we had so much fun. 

the girls

the boys

bubby's had a photobooth in the basement. favorite!

Everyone went home to sleep after this, but me, Aubrey, and Michael decided to go to the top of the rock because I wanted to so badly!

beautiful view! definitely worth it.

did you know she's my best friend?

because she's sick of my favorite picture that we took in this color room.

cheernastics!

Then, 41,032 steps since the day started, I was finally home to sleep - exhausted with nasty blisters as proof of all my walking.  What a successful day!