Joy to the World

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Family
The holiday movies

Love

Food (soooo many treats)

No school
Decorating the tree

That merry sparkle in eyes

The smiles

More family!

All the giving (and receiving)

The lights
Christmas smells

Cutting snowflakes

Even more family!!!

And then, this year, all the snow we woke up to on Christmas morning. (as much as I don't care for snow - it was something beautiful to wake up to!)

It is truly a magical season.

But the most important part of Christmas is remembering the birth of our Savior. Last night, we watched a video reminding us that He is the gift. Our first gift from a Heavenly Father who loves each of us unconditionally. What a beautiful reminder.

I am so grateful for my Savior. Though born into the humblest of situations, He atoned for our sins and only through Him are we able to return to our Heavenly Father. I am grateful for Mary and Joseph - the faith they must have had. I am also grateful for the love that our Heavenly Father has for each of us and the wonderful plan of happiness he created so that this life is not the end. How can you not love the holiday the reminds us of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

an emotional breakdown? what?!

Everyone says that the first hint to them being pregnant was because they were suddenly emotional - like crying at commercials and silly things.

I never went through that...

until yesterday.

I love watching movies while I get ready for work. It normally takes me a few days to get through a movie. I watched Sense and Sensibility late last week (oh my gosh, favorite) and cried at the right parts, like when Edward says he isn't married to Lucy Steele and Elinor can't contain her sobs. I always cry then so I didn't think anything of it.

The last movie I watched was One Day - it is currently on Netflix. I mean, I liked it, but Jim Sturgess' character was not really my favorite. Until the romance we are waiting for, finally happens and Jim Sturgess becomes a decent man! And then, yesterday morning, after I had fallen in love with the characters and I was fixing my lunch, absolute tragedy struck. Of course, mom walked down right as I gasped and then broke out into full on, can't talk, sobs. The worst part was I had to leave right then! The tears followed me throughout the day and when I finally finished the movie that night, they turned back into sobs.

Anyway, thinking about it still makes me cry. And now the movie has a special place in my heart.

Then that night we watched Validation at a training and, of course, I had to hide my tears at the end.

And that is about as emotional as I have gotten this pregnancy. Not bad considering I am 24 weeks in!

November 30th

Did you know that today is a very important day? Probably not. And that is why I am writing this post.

Two years ago today. November 30, 2012.

The Festival of Trees is a wonderful fundraiser benefiting Primary Children's Hospital. It happens every year and while I always thought it would be fun to go, I hadn't made it. 2012 was different. Porter was in his final rounds of chemo and Primary's had become a second home. Plus his home health nurse had donated a tree and decorated it with his patients favorite treats - that meant that Porter's favorite (nasty) orange Circus Peanuts would be on the tree. That meant I had to go and it is a very good thing I did.

I went with Cami, of course, and a bunch of friends. We looked at all of the trees. They are really impressive and I so recommend going. Sydney was there too, so we had to get a sister picture with Porter's tree and I am so glad we did, because it is the only picture documentation I have of that very important day.

sweetest tree

As we were leaving, I looked behind me and caught the eye of someone I knew. It was Ashton. We hadn't talked for at least a year and I wasn't sure he even knew who I was so I wasn't going to say anything. Lucky for me, he smiled and said hi. We chatted for a bit and made plans for when he was done with finals.

The whole time Cami and I were eating Chick-fil-A (of course), I just kept telling her how darling I thought Ashton was and how I just wanted to be friends with him. I couldn't stop thinking about him, I mean, have you seen that smile?!

Little did I know that within 6 months of that day he would become my best friend AND husband.

Here's to one year, six months, and 6 days of marriage. I know I already mentioned Ashton in my gratitude post, but I just love him so much! I am so grateful for the run ins and two dates we had prior to meeting again on November 30th. I give Ashton a hard time for taking so long (seriously, we could have done this back in 2009), but I am happy I had those years to grow and go on adventures. He makes me so happy. We just got back from our "babymoon staycation" in Salt Lake and it was the best. He is perfect for me and I just super really love him.

OK. Thanks for reading my lovey gushy post.

g r a t i t u d e

It's that time of year. The time when we dream of turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin everything. That time when we get an extra long weekend. That time when, despite all of the cold and grey, everyone has extra holiday pep in their step. But more importantly, it is that time where we sit back and reflect on all those things we are grateful for.

My heart is overwhelmed when I think of all that is happened so far in 2014.

2014 had a very rough start for us with a miscarriage in January and one again in April. And while it still hurts, a hurt that will never go away, it has made me beyond grateful for where we are now. Here I am, 22 weeks pregnant with a sweet baby girl. I know all parents love their children, but I truly believe my love for this baby is not different, but comes with a lot more thankfulness.  My best friend sent me this post she had found and it is perfect, especially her last paragraph which includes,  "Infertility sucks for everybody it touches. But it's also it's own kind of wonderful, I think. Especially once the baby you've fought for is won. Those babies are spectacular; those babies are worth it." Baby girl is my miracle. (I have a collection of articles and links that helped me through everything and, like I have said before, someday they will make their way to my blog)

I am also grateful for the time we spent in Minnesota. I love and miss all of our friends there. Sure, the winter was miserably cold, but it was also a lot of fun! Lots of movies, crafts, games, and time inside.  We grew a lot, met many amazing and wonderful people, and most importantly, learned to be married (which, if I haven't mentioned before, is really easy when you're married to Ashton).

And that brings me to Ashton. Wow did I score. He has seen me on a rollercoaster of feelings this year and he continues to both be patient with me and everyone. Watching him has taught me to have patience. And then there is the way he takes care of me. When I would get sick, he just sat in the dark room with me, magically appearing with water, saltines, tylenol, and even mac 'n cheese. It is fun to watch him get ready to be a dad, snuggling with Millie and caring for our handsome pup.

Then there is Thor. I am grateful for a dog that has a cute whine and no idea how to mean bark. He only has accidents occasionally. He loves people almost as much as he loves food. And he is the perfect dog for our family.

Family. I am so grateful for my family. After a year in Minnesota, which was great, but we sure missed having family around. Now, we get to live with my parents and see them ALL of the time. "It's the best! I love it." And my fantastic in-laws (I seriously could not have married into a better family) are only half an hour away. We are so blessed to be surrounded by people we love so much.

I am grateful for my friends. You guys know who you are. To those who send me the thinking of you texts just when I need them. Or the flowers that made everything better. The friends who I can meet up with for breakfast and spend hours just talking with. Or the friends that live far away, the ones I get to see once a year if I am lucky. To those friends who we watch Tom Hanks movies with. The friends who we make plans with for more than a year from now (here's to summer 2016!). To those friends that I can always be my true BYU fanatic with. My friends are the greatest.

I am grateful for my job. Teaching has gotten hard (it has changed a lot over the past 6 years), but my students this year are amazing with their kind words, pictures, and little notes. Middle school isn't so bad after all :)

Most of all I am grateful for the gospel, for my Savior, and that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am so grateful that Ashton and I were able to be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity just over a year and a half ago. I am grateful to know that families are forever. Grateful for the relationship I have with my Savior. Grateful for a prophet to guide and lead us in these latter days. Grateful for the Book of Mormon. I have truly felt my Heavenly Father's love throughout this year and my life - for that, I am so grateful.

Best Buddies Dinner

Best Buddies. I joined in 2003 as a sophomore in high school and fell in love. It is the reason why I am a special educator today.

A little more than a year ago, I wrote this post about my dad and how he became a board member for Best Buddies Utah. I was (and continue to be) impressed and incredibly proud of my dad.

On the 13th, the Thorkelson clan went to a dinner for Best Buddies Utah, their biggest fundraiser of the year. We got there and opened the program. On the first page we found this:

He had no idea and neither did we. What a privilege it was to see him recognized and then hear him talk for a bit about how Best Buddies has changed him. I loved Best Buddies in high school and I am so grateful to my dad, who has brought it back into our family.

 ** On a side note: They had some items they were raffling off, as well as a silent auction. Ashton and I bought a few tickets and found the most adorable yellow baby girl basket. Of course, we stuck most all of our tickets in that one. We won :) I love collecting clothes (and all types of goodies) for our sweet baby.

pictures of baby girl smith

it's a G I R L

Ashton and I went in for my 20 week ultrasound on Friday. It was 30 minutes of magic. We saw baby's face, feet, spine, heart and watched in awe as she wiggled around.

We didn't want to find out the gender until we had made it back with all of our family, so the kind nurse gave us a little note to give the baker who had agreed to frost donuts pink or blue and stick them in a cake box.

The Smith's and Thorkelson's gathered for pizza and the big reveal. After some socializing and lots of happiness, Ashton and I went to open our box of donuts.

It was perfect. Everything about our little girl is already perfect. I have been feeling her moving, but Saturday I finally felt her moving against my hand! It feels like a dream.

And here are the pictures from our perfect night.

votes at school vs. votes at home

just in case you wanted more than the video

i know it is hard to see, but that is a P I N K frosted donut

We are in love.

thor and a grape

Thor. Thor. Thor.

He is our most favorite dog ever and my brother snapped some really cool pictures of him, I just have to share. Then, I have a very Thor story for you.

Always on his daddy's lap.

Why he loves the car.

That face though.

The bond that he has with Ashton is unbelievably sweet and to say he makes us happy is an understatement.

So, on Friday night, when he decided to eat a grape, we were worried. I had read before that grapes could be lethal to dogs and we quickly called an animal ER. They suggested we come in so that they could attempt to make him throw it up and do some blood tests to make sure he wasn't going into renal failure.

We rushed Thor to the doctor and we were there from 9:30 to 11:30 pm. It was just great. Long story short, Thor is alright. We had to take him back in Saturday night just to test his blood once more and everything looked fine.

Best part. Today, Thor and I were in the kitchen and I was going into the fridge to get myself some pickles (pregnant much). Guess what? The bag of grapes,  placed precariously on the edge of the fridge shelf, toppled over. I went into panic mode and rushed to pick up grapes, while Thor went into food frenzy mode and rushed to the juicy green grapes. I fished one out of his mouth, put him the corner, and told him to sit while I picked them up. 

Everything is fine now, grapes just make my heart beat a little faster now.

General Conference, October 2014

This past weekend was General Conference - one of my favorite times of the year. Every 6 months, in April and October, we are able to listen to / be inspired by our Church leaders. It consists of four beautiful sessions (two on Saturday and two on Sunday) plus one session for the men on Saturday night and one for the women of the Church, held the week before.

I just love listening to conference. It is a welcome break from our normal hustle and bustle of the weekend. The special thing about this conference was that many of our speakers spoke in their native language. It's beautiful to hear and it is amazing how the Spirit is able to speak to us, even when we are listening to a language we do not know.

Ashton and I were able to go to the Sunday afternoon session with my dad, Porter, and Hannah. It was the perfect way to end the weekend. I feel so full of peace, love, and have an overall new confidence in life (if that makes any sense).

The very best part is that, if you missed any of it, if you want to watch a certain talk or all talks again, or if you want to print out you favorite talks to study,  you can! They are found here. Use these resources as they will enrich your life and continue to fill you with peace. I try to study one talk a week and I always have high hopes that I will share my thoughts on each talk here - maybe this time I really will.

week 15

Life has been pretty boring ever since we have found out I was pregnant. Boring in every sense except for the fact that I am growing a baby!

It is probably boring because Ashton and I are back to work, our siblings are back to school, and we have yet to make new couple friends in our area. But in my defense, by the time I get home from work, I am ready to crash - and most of the time, that is exactly what I do.

But, back to baby.

Yesterday, I hit 15 weeks! In my last doctor's appointment, my awesome doctor told me that at this point, miscarriage is very unusual. It finally feels like I can relax and smile and be so happy and excited about our baby. I can feel sure in my pregnancy. It is a beautiful thing and I have been an emotional wreck waiting for this moment - not that I still don't have those minutes of worry here and there.

So, my first appointment with doctor wasn't until I was already 10 weeks along. Waiting for that day to come was hard and then going in for my first ultrasound was one of the scariest moments. (My first ultrasound back in January was when we discovered that I had a blighted ovum. I still can't breath when I remember that day.) BUT, things were 100 times different this go around. This time, we saw a beautiful, perfect baby, dancing around with a perfect little heartbeat. I am already so proud of my tiny baby, so I can totally show off with some precious ultrasound pictures, right?

Then, just last week, I went in for my second appointment and it was just as magical. We didn't get an ultrasound this time around, but we had another opportunity to hear our baby's heartbeat. Doctor warned me before she started that sometimes it takes a bit to find the heartbeat, just so I didn't get to worried. She put the cool heartbeat tool on my lower belly and there was baby's heart. She didn't have to search at all. In fact she said, "Wow! Very cooperative!" And of course, we have it recorded and I listen to it daily.

We are pretty excited to meet our baby. For those of you who are wondering, we will find out gender, but we still have another 5 weeks before that happens.

sweet baby smith

Today we made a big announcement.

We are pregnant! yayyayyay! Pregnant!

And this time we have heard a heartbeat and, while we know we aren't completely in the clear, this is the furthest we have made it.

I am a few days past 11 weeks. After my two previous miscarriages, I was pretty sure that I wouldn't announce it until I couldn't hide it anymore.

Then I read this amazing article. As I read it, my heart just about burst out of my chest. There is a life within me, my baby! I had announced to most of my family and close friends that I was pregnant in December. When I miscarried, I was devastated, but I received so much support and love. Every card, email, text, phone call, and even the flowers that were sent, buoyed me up. The second time around, I miscarried much earlier, but that didn't make it any easier. I hadn't known I was pregnant until we realized something was wrong and, while my immediate family knew, many didn't and I hated going through it "alone".

So, that is how we got here today - the earlier than planned on announcement. I have no words except that it is a miracle. Every precious life is truly a miracle and we feel so blessed that we are having this opportunity.

national doggy day

As you all probably know by now (thanks to social media), today is National Dog Day!

...and guess what...

We have a dog. The cutest dog. The best dog! Thor.

Thor has been a part of our family since June 4th. He is four and a half months old and has already grown so much! He can sit, shake, and lay down - so smart huh! 

So here - enjoy some of my favorite pictures of the little guy. It was hard to pick favorites because we have hundreds...

 Our roly poly little baby

Just a bit bigger.

Even bigger! And really starting to look like a bulldog with that tongue out all the time.

We sure love our Thor and, well, we just love love love him! He is the perfect addition to our little family.

(not to end this on a sad note)But, I have to finish this post by recognizing my first dogs - Our loyal, sweet, gentle giant, perfect Woody and my crazy adorable little man Bubba. Both of them are in doggy heaven now, but we think of them often. In fact, Mom saw a picture of a dog that looked like Woody today and almost started crying. We love and miss our first puppy loves.

San Diego (6/27 - 7/02)

A sweet family friend got married this summer. It was a beautiful wedding, beautiful weekend, beautiful trip.

6/27 - Our first stop when we got their was, of course, the beach. I had been doing a cleanse and was on my last day. (Side note about the cleanse: It felt so good and I felt so accomplished at the end of those three days. But, a few of those drinks have ruined me. Just the idea of kale makes my stomach churn.) So we walked by Ruby's and I dreamed of fries and a shake. It was a beautiful evening.

6/28 - Temple. Beach. Reception. It was the best kind of day.

A beautiful sealing at my favorite temple.

 Beach party with my Jackie and our boys.

The beautiful bride and her groom.

6/29 - Visiting the Birch Aquarium with the family. I love love love this place.

Ashton trying on Hannah's hair. Who do you think he looks like?

6/30 - Visiting Grandpa Thork and exploring Balboa Island - because "There's always money in the banana stand" and Ashton had never been!

California never disappoints.

summer...

...is over

...and I don't know how I feel about it.

We had a great summer - one that has kept me so busy that my blog has (obviously) been neglected.

BUT I am really enjoying my new job and we are only 4 days in. The staff is fantastic and my students are a lot of fun. I have a lot to learn, starting in a new district, and they let me know as I get to attend all of the new teacher trainings again, but I am happy here.

ps. This is my SIXTH year teaching!

The point of this post:
- I have so many summer posts to add
- Things are good here! Busy, but good.
- & last but not least, happy new school year!!

- Oh and of course, our Thor is now HUGE. And we love him and all the adventures we get to have because of him.

mundial ! ! !

The last month has been awesome - all full of soccer!

But before I blab about soccer, you should watch this hilarious video of Thor. It is the cutest.

The World Cup is my favorite. I think it is bigger than the Olympics and this is why. The whole world loves soccer.  It is a huge deal and sadly, the United States doesn't appreciate it like we should. I must say though, the US is getting there and I am sure this World Cup created tons of new soccer fans out here. Anyway, that long rant about the world loving soccer - that means the whole world is watching! Yes, everyone is involved in the Olympics, but there is so much going on! Countries shut down to watch their nation play in the World Cup. That's serious and I love it!!

The United States gave it their absolute all and I am proud of the way they played.  Reading this article made me all misty eyed because it was so true.

Also, what about Argentina?! Yes, Germany won. Yes, they are amazing. But, come on, Messi! He deserved that cup, but it makes me happy to know that he received the Golden Ball.

(For those of you who don't know, my mother's family is from Argentina) 

So, naturally we had a big family party watching the game!

 that puppy belly!