6th graders on L.O.V.E.

I start each of my classes with a journal. Today, I asked my students what love means to them and the answers I got are too good not to share.

"Love is a desirable bond bringing everything together."

"Love means having loving parents to protect you."

"Lots of hugs and kisses."

"Love means they spend time with you."

"Love is male and female friends in childhood who keep being friends. Some time they can tell they like each other and soon they fall in love and get married and live together forever."

"Love is to care about someone."

"Love means act nicely and go on a date."

"Love is to have people in your life."

"Love is something people like forever."

And my favorite is: "Love is the biggest feeling in the world."
I couldn't have said it better.

last day of school

Today was the last day of school. I wish I could show you all of the pictures we took today. By far, the cutest class ever.

but, here's to summer!

year one comes to an end

Tomorrow is our last day of school and it's only a few hours long.

I can't even believe it. I have grown so much here at Brookside with my very special class. I have become a real teacher - a real special ed teacher, that is. I have had my hard days, but they have been FAR outnumbered by the days where I come home overjoyed with the career I have chosen. I have been squeezed, scratched, bit, pulled, jumped on, pushed, smelled the smelliest smells, yelled at, spit on, and the list goes on and on...

BUT I have been loved. I have been a shoulder to cry on, the lucky one to wipe away tears . I have been hugged and on occasion I have received a very sweet and innocent kiss on the cheek. I have been served, and even more, I have been given the opportunity to serve. I have been touched by the Spirit and I have looked into eyes that have instantly seen my heart. I got to be at the sweetest baptism I have ever seen. I have been laughed at and laughed with. I have been "HEY, HEY, HEY YOU!", "Bokilson", "Teacher. Teacher! TEACHER!!", "Teddy", "THHHHHHorkelson", and sometimes, Tati. I have made friends that I will have for all eternity, friends that I cannot wait to see once I am done here.

I have developed relationships with 5 amazing women who have shown me love and have taught me life lessons that I will never forget. I have seen them go through unthinkable trials, but remain strong. I have seen them love and forgive. They tucked me under their wings this year and accepted me as the 20 something intern who had to be their boss. They will never understand the impact they have had on me.

I have seen lives change, including mine. I have seen hearts grow, behaviors disappear, brains learning, goals being reached and even exceeded. Friendships have bloomed, and I have watched a classroom become a family. I have both seen and felt true Christlike love. I couldn't have asked for a better situation as an intern.

change of heart

The school year is coming to end - we only have 11 days left! I am worn out, exahuasted and really looking forward to May 27, but at the same time, I wish it would never come. I love these kids more than I thought possible. I love them despite the paper work, spitting, stinky diapers, biting, and running away. I love them because of what they have taught me, but most of all I love them because they have caused me to have a change of heart. Because of them I am determined to be a better person and to love as purely as they do.

A few Sundays ago, someone mentioned 3 Nephi 17. Even now, as I read it, I am overwhelmed by the spirit. Jesus Christ asks the multitude to bring forth any among them who are "afflicted in any manner". Each of my sweet students would have been brought to him. I can only imagine that this is exactly would it will be like for them when they are reunited with Heavenly Father and made perfect. The image this paints in my mind is one that I will carry with me forever. I know he hasn't left them to make the hard journey of being physically and mentally handicapped on their own because I see Him in them everyday.

After Christ heals them, he then asks for the little children to be brought to him and the prayer that He then offered up to our Heavenly Father was so sweet and sacred that:

"16 ...The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father;

17 And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father. "

I think my students have felt that great and marvelous prayer. They know true charity and Christlike love and when you serve them, you feel it too.

****update: We went on a field trip today and I saw one of my very favorite students from when I worked at Dan Peterson. I was happy crying...it was definitely a tender mercy

I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus

It all started a few months ago when one of my 7 year old students realized he could hold his breath under water. His mom told me the news and told me with teary eyes that he came home and said, "I can hold my breath under water! I can get baptized!" His mom talked to him and told him that he was perfect and didn't need to be baptized. To this he responded, "But mom, I am trying to be like Jesus."

So this morning he got baptized! And it was the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

He got into the water and was a little shocked at how cold it was. He clapped his hands and kept walking in with a gigantic smile on his face. His dad baptized him and when he came up out of the water, he turned towards all his family and friends and threw his arms in the air and squealed the most innocent, happy, blissful noise of pure joy. Not a single dry eye.

The confirmation was pretty special too. He is obviously a blessing to everyone who comes into contact with him. He knows the Holy Ghost, he knows my Savior, he knows what is happening in this life and the next. He is full of love, pure Christlike love, and I see that everyday.

After the baptism and confirmation, I got up to leave and sort of slipped by him, hoping to catch him as he came to the front, but he went back towards my seat to find me. He just started saying, "Where's my teacher?! Where's my teacher?" I called out his name and he ran right up to me and jumped into my arms. Bokelson he says. It melts my heart.

I don't know what I will do without him in my class next year. I sure love him.

inspiration

There are two girls that I would like to thank for helping me decide the path of special education. Their names are Sonia and Cerae and I love them. They are twins and I worked with them in high school. We still talk and they are both now out working and learning to become independent, just like me. They love that I want to teach special education and are some of my biggest supporters.

Sonia has been in a wheelchair her entire life. She called me last night to tell me about the surgery she had a few months ago. Because of it, she is now able to walk with some help. I definitely teared up when she told me this. I never imagined this being why she called and I have never been so happy for her. I cannot wait to help her walk.

The little things that we take for granted are miracles that we forget to recognize.

My DTR during recess

As I have said before - I love my kids. I love working with them and today was great.

We were outside for recess and I was just sitting in the field of dead grass watching my kids play. One of them decided to run at me and he just sat down next to me. We were talking and he made some mention to me being old. Old?! So I asked him if he thought I was old. He asked how old I was so I told him to guess. This is our conversation:

Boy - I don't know, 48?

Me - YOU THINK I AM 48?!

What, you're less?

Of course I am.

35?

Lower.

Are you in your 20's?

Yep

28?

Lower!

25, 24, 23, 22, 21.

Yep! 21.

Wow. You are practically a teenager. Do you have a baby?

No. I am not even married!

When can I get married?

Well, I guess when you're in love.

After I said this, he grabbed my arm, smiled, and sort of giggled then told me that he loved me. Ah! I laughed at him, not sure how to handle the situation. My first proposal, sort of, from my 3rd grade student! Can't blow this one, the next one might not come for a long time. Then, being the smart boy that he is, he told me that he didn't love me like that. Ouch...haha but that he loved me like a teacher. We joked about it the rest of the day. I guess I am pretty cool.

service - love - charity

Sunday was all about charity. Every meeting was built around loving others, loving God, and loving ourselves. It was perfect.

We have started a new goal with one of my students and it requires a lot of hands on, hard work from me and my techs. The one who helped me try and accomplish this goal with my student today warned me ahead of time that she was not happy about doing it and I totally understand where she is coming from. It is not an easy task but it is one that will ultimately be used through this specific student's entire life. After we finished, she (my tech) sat down with him and rubbed lotion into his dry skin. I could see the deep love that she had for him instantly. She had to humble herself to do this act of service, and it was not an easy one, but after we finished it, her attitude towards it quickly changed and was replaced by charity. I have no doubt that selfless service is the ultimate form of love and the quickest way to develop Christlike love for someone.

Also - I LOVE all of my students. I couldn't stop thinking it today. It wasn't even an easy day, but it was a good Monday. At the end of the day, a mom called and told me about an appointment she was taking her child to the next day. She mentioned that he was one of only 14 with this specific condition so they want to track his development. Amazing! I have such a great opportunity to work with these so unique children who are living miracles. I sure have the coolest job.

duck...duck....

GOOSE

My new favorite game to play at work. I have two boys who try to play it together all the time, even when no one else is playing. And the way they run...so cute. Everyone gets into it, even my techs. All day you can hear kids saying GOOSE.

Love it

Just a normal Thursday in my life

Today was great. I had a little bit of everything.

First, I took a student on a walk. We go and sit in a room together and we're singing baby beluga, twinkle twinkle little star and all that good stuff. He starts getting sleepy and starts belting out in song - "No one else, no one else...la la da de ba." I recognize the melody but the only words I can make out are "no one else". He keeps singing and before long I realize he is singing "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. It was amazing.

Later on in the day I was in that room once again and this time I got bit. Sort of a monumental mark for a special ed teacher. That's the first time it has happened to me in this class.

Favorite Moment of the Day:

One of our favorite speech ladies came in today and we did a Valentine's lesson and at the very end she gave everyone a cupcake. They were cute little cupcakes and one of my great little students shoved the entire thing in his mouth and one of my techs was commenting on it and laughing and then all of the sudden she said, "Wait, where's your wrapper! Did you eat your wrapper?!" He was at the sink and I was watching him, assuming he needed a drink. I wish I had recorded his face...hahaha priceless. He spit out the wrapper whole. He had really put the entire thing in his mouth and cleaned the wrapper out. hahahaaa I can't stop laughing about it.

My Day Opened With...

Baby Beluga.

One of my cute kids said Beluga...and we just looked at each other and, no joke, instant bonding. I started whispering Baby Beluga and pretty soon he was singing with me. Now, most people don't know this about me - but that song is one of my favorites. I am not sure when I learned it but I have always loved it. This summer as Alison and I would hike, I would often sing it as I showed off my super white thighs. I thought it was pretty funny. But, to hear that song from my cute boy...made my heart happy.

Realization that I am so a teacher.

I was walking from the work room back to my class and realized that I have started to fit the teacher, I don't know what to call it, mold? uh oh. My socks rarely match and I always wear them with my moccasins/slip on target shoes. Then my jeans don't really hide my unmatched socks...how cute?

Wonderful Weather Moment.

Every morning one of my students walks down the hall to see what the weather is outside (we have no windows in my class). Today he came back and said "CloudySunny". It was one word and it sounded so much better than partly cloudy. Sunny included in anything makes it happier.

RECESS

This week we have finally started going outside for recess again. Going outside for recess and actually feeling the sun couldn't make me any happier. I love it outside - well, as long as there isn't any snow, which is headed back our way between tonight and tomorrow.

My day has ended with lots of greatness too.

I went to water aerobics (soooo so fun!), then to dinner group (love having this in my life), and institute (Raymon is so great and I love seeing friends there). Also, my sweet roommate bought me tissues...I have been a little sick all of this year, but we all know it is so that I will stop using our tp to blow my nose. :)

Also, last night BYU killed TCU and I had courtside seats. I also had to cook for dinner group last night. The Livingstones saved me and dinner turned out fabulous without me even having to be there (pork salad...just as great as Cafe Rio's!). They also had me over for dinner on Sunday, then got me a piece of Magleby's cake on Monday, and gave me the ingredients for an amazing dinner on Tuesday. Love them.

and these days, i wish i was six again

After school today, I was walking through the hall as everyone was running out to the buses and parents. As I watched all of the kids laugh and goof off with their friends, I suddenly missed elementary school. To have so many friends and not have all the cares that come with growing up - the innocence. No worries about the future at that age.

Also, I love the sweet kids I work with. And my techs are the greatest.