"pillow talk"

The thing I miss the most about living with roommates is the late night pillow talk, where everything - all feelings, thoughts, dreams, fears, doubts, loves, etc - can and is expressed with no judgement, but just pure love and understanding.  Yes, living at home gives me lots of listeners, but none of them are in the sameish life situation as me - like roommates tend to be.

Mel and I got to have some time to really talk tonight (something we haven't done purely because sporting event keep us so busy and they are not very conversation friendly) and I am so grateful for the chat we had.  Of course we talked boys, work, future, basketball, boys, thanksgiving plans, etc...I got to be completely emotionally honest and have her understand a lot of what I am feeling.  

As a teacher, I get called mom quite a bit.  Some of my kids realize the mistake when they make it and either laugh or get real embarrassed and say sorry.  Others don't even notice and keep calling me mommy.  Today I was being called mommy in a search for sympathy.  One of my students needed to have their hearing aides checked and the poor kid did not want to go.  Tears were being wiped on my sweater and arms were wrapped around my neck as the hearing aides were being removed.  "mommyyyy.  moommmyyy" my little student whined into my neck.  Don't worry, this was a harmless and routine check up, but my kids know that I can't stand to see them crying and that I really do just melt when they even pretend to be in pain.  It was then that I realized how much I think I am ready to be a mom, to give my whole heart in a different way than I do to my students...

Being single is definitely not easy, especially when my kids remind me how much I am ready for a family, but Mel told me that I need to remember why I am grateful that I am where I am (specifically why I am single) right now.  I should be grateful that I have a career and that I am actually experiencing the world of teaching.  Grateful that I can go to San Diego, cruises, New York, or Texas because I feel like it!  Grateful that I am experiencing being independent - even if that means paying bills and going to church, the gym, and the grocery store on my own.  I am grateful that I have this time to make myself into the person I want to be.  Grateful that I have made all of the friends that I have because that's what you do when you're single.  Grateful for these trials, because someday, he will make all the years and pain of waiting completely worth it! haha So, I might be a little bit of a hopeless romantic.

I am thankful for all of the wonderful roommates I have had - all 14 of them have taught me a lot about myself and life in general.  I have learned to live with a variety of personalities and love it!  I am grateful for our memories, our chats, the adventures, and our dance parties.