Well, if you haven't guessed, Preston and I broke up last night. Having never been through a break up, this has been devastatingly hard. I think I cry anytime I am alone...like right now. We got into a car accident on Sunday on our drive home from Boise. I knew that it happened for a reason and I knew right away that our relationship was going to, in some way, be changed by it. I told him that he couldn't get weird on me and a few days went by and things seemed ok, until last night. My sixth sense kicked in. I knew something was wrong, he said he was fine. After a KILLER basketball game against UNLV, he told me everything. The hardest thing is that nothing was wrong with our relationship...he just didn't feel like it should keep going.
I remember catching my breath when he tried to hold my hand on the first date - risky move, but it worked out. I remember when three weeks later he told me he wanted to be exclusive and I couldn't drive. He is the only semi-sane boy that would camp outside the Marriott for basketball.
My heart...oh my heart. I know it will be alright. I felt to let him go if that makes any sense...it's just so hard when you had a best friend every night, even if it was for only 2 and a half months. I don't even know how to spend an evening at my apartment anymore. I don't know how to not know that I will for sure see someone after work everyday. No one to text good morning, funny stories, sports talk, "i like you"s , and goodnight to.
Well, once again I will say that I will be ok. Things will work out...but for now, I am just finding refuge in work and my students. Thanks for listening.
4 comments:
Ok, I'll spare you the sympathy even though it's hard. But if you want someone to tell funny stories and say goodnight to, text me! I know I'm not a hot guy and I won't try to hold your hand or marry you, but if it helps...920-819-9791.
i could give you a copy of the breakup cd.... ha ha ha. just listen to brand new 70 times 7 a few times, laugh about how glad you are none up us ended up with john and look forward to drew being back and helping him tp the contents of a poor girls refrigerator. maybe that will at least make you smile for a few seconds. I'd probably listen to old jason mraz too and cry in my bed by myself reminisce about being 16 and life seeming so hard but it really being so easy and idyllic. i'd also invest in some ice cream, eat the whole container, then feel guilty for eating so much, and then go running to burn it off while listening to more of the break up cd, and be glad that you really don't need to feel angry at who you broke up with and then laugh at the silly music you are listening to and switch to listening to taylor swift (because she always makes me happy even when she sings about being in love at 15 or whatever...) anyways. thats what i'd be doing if i was you. but i love you. this is a long, silly commment. if you want you can come up sunday to dinner at my parents, and no one will talk about preston. just about you and the wonderful things you are doing and we can play games!! ok. love you again. text me if you decide you want to come up for dinner sunday or sometime or anytime.
You know I will always love you :)And if it makes you feel any better at all...I am glad to have you home, I have missed you greatly :)
That was good practice Tati, which will lead you to an even better man who is perfect for you! No joke! I went through it over and over myself. I was even engaged to Stephen's cousin at one point. Interesting, I know. Anyway...you are an amazing and beautiful person who- some man, some day- will be LUCKY and BLESSED to have you.
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