Dear Robi,

Today wasn't my best day.  To simply put it - I was off.

And then I realized what today was.

Robi,  I still think of you often.  I can't believe it has been four years.  I talk to Ashton about you all of the time.  I still see things that remind me of you on a regular basis.  Through you, I still make new friends.  Because of you, many of my relationships with old friends are continually strengthened.  And all of these things make my heart so happy. 

There was another day last month, where I felt much like I did today.  Just couldn't get into the groove.  As I was heading home from work, I heard "Party in the USA".  Now, Miley isn't my favorite, but I had to blast the song because it made me think of you and smile, a lot.  I spent a few minutes throwing my hands up, nodding my head, and moving my hips.  The best part was that I could see you dancing too.  The rest of the drive, I reminisced on our adventures.

Later that day, I realized it was your birthday and that me listening to that song was not a coincidence.  

I have realized a pattern, one that I am not proud of.  I tend to wake up on September 28th and October 23rd not in the best of moods - and I often don't realized what day it is until that evening, after I have spent most of my day grumpy.  You would never approve of that and I know it!

So, here is my new goal.  September 28th and October 23rd are going to be celebrations!  I will wake up on these days with a special smile, one that will be there because of you.  I am allowed to get emotional, because I still miss you, but I am going to make these two days yours and be Robi happy.

I am saving a gigantic hug for you.