My Shaving Challenge.

For those who know me well, as well as those who have gone on any trip with me....

I have to shave my legs daily.  I will admit that shaving is my OCD.

I like to blame this on the fact that I was a swimmer, but that isn't the real truth.  Daily shaving is something that I have done since I first picked up a razor.  My leg hair is dark and grows faster than anyone I know - I think it is a curse.  I have friends and sisters who will go weeks, if not months, without shaving.  I can't even sleep with prickly legs.  If I don't get the chance to shave in the morning, my day is shot!  I am self conscious and all I want to do is go home and shave. It is a routine that has become a part of my life...until I started with this magic called laser hair removal.

Laser hair removal and I became acquainted a few months ago, but today was the first treatment on my lower legs.  It feels like you are being flicked with a fiery hot rubber band over and over and over again.  I am miserable the whole time.  Let me tell you that I pretty much have zero tolerance for pain.  I always thought I was tough, but the lady lasering my leg hairs was laughing at my flinches and scrunched faces the whole time.  She was shocked (and maybe a little impressed) at all of my thick, dark hair - a trait I like to blame on my Italian Argentine blood.

The worst news came when it was over...

I can't shave my legs for a week.  I don't know if I will survive!  Please note that laser doesn't mean you walk out with smooth legs.  In fact, I am prickly already!  I can't even think about it right now or else I won't get to sleep.

The only good thing about this being over is that I am one step closer to never shaving my legs again.

I may or may not be saying a few little prayers that the weather takes a turn so I can wear leggings/tights everyday for the next week.

Sisters Do As Sisters Should

I am so blessed to have three sisters.

And even more blessed to be best friends with them.

Today is Kelsey's Birthday!

Kelsey is probably the greatest, most wonderful, most loving, happiest girl I could have ever asked for as a sister.

My life was Kelsey growing up.  I would turn around and there she was, always behind me.  She was terribly shy outside of the house, but once she was home where she was comfortable, there was no stopping her!  She was loud, crazy, fun!  She had this laugh that was almost a cackle.  For years, we liked the same things - we played soccer, listened to NSync together, watched the same movies...

That only lasted until she got to high school.  And then you find out that we are actually very different in style, music, tastes, etc...but, you will never find two sisters who will defend each other more.  Kelsey has it out for every man who has broken my heart - I love her for it.

Kelsey also has the biggest, sweetest, most tender heart of us all.  I have never met anyone with compassion like Kelsey.  She gets life a lot more than I do - in many ways, I think she has experienced more real life than I have.  Her life hasn't always been easy and I don't think she will ever understand how much I admire and look up to her.  She does not judge.  She can relate to almost any person.  She instantly loves.

During the last year, we got to work at the same school.  She became an aide in Cami's class.  So, sometimes, I feel like I haven't done my job as a big sister - not being the first to get married, the only one who went to BYU (going with hopes that soon my siblings will follow) - but I can say that my siblings have all fallen in love with students who have disabilities.  I will take credit for that.  It makes my heart so happy to see them truly love the kids who mean more to me than anything in the world.  Not only does Kelsey love them, but she is absolutely wonderful with these sweet spirits.  They adore my little sister.

Kelsey has been such a blessing to my life.  Kels - my hand keeps reaching to my heart as I think about you...I have no words to describe how huge my heart is swelling right now, but we know it is serious when my hand needs to cover my heart.  I love her husband and it was a proud day for me to watch her walk out of the temple with Scott.  I really think I have the best little sister in the world.  We had our times when we couldn't stand each other, but those will never outweigh the moments of love, laughs, and dancing.

I love you Kelsey.  I love you. I love you. I love you.  Thanks for being my sister.  Thank you for helping me grow into who I am.  Thanks for being my example.  Thanks for loving.  I have always needed you.

ooxxooXoXXx

Today

Today is big day for my family.


Today, my parents have been married for 25 years.  They are the couple I want to someday be.  They love each other and all of us kids have always known it.  They hold hands.  Sometimes they even kiss in front of us!  They have made it through ups and downs - today being both an up and down as their son loses his right leg below his knee/hopefully becomes completely cancer free!  My parents are my best friends.  I thought I had grown all independent while I was at BYU (though I talked to my mom on the phone everyday), but then they moved to Utah and I realized how much I just wanted to be around them.

Today, my brother will become a below the knee amputee, but also cancer free!!!  We are in the same waiting room that we sat in 4 months and 1 day ago.  The emotions and feelings of that day were unsure, fearful, sad...needless to say, it was a tough tough day.  Those emotions aren't here now.  A few tears have been shed, but there is peace around us.  There is laughing, smiling, and warmth.  There is confidence that everything is going to work out.

 He is so strong!



Thank you to everyone whose thoughts and prayers are with my family, especially with Porter.  We have felt every one of them.

13.1

That's right. I just ran 13.1 miles in the American Fork Canyon Half Marathon.

I have never had any desire to run.  Nope.  Didn't think I would ever do it.  AND I always laugh at the people with the 13.1 or 26.2 stickers on their cars.  Great, you're super athletic and you can run long distances!  BUT now I get it!  I want to sport a 13.1 decal because I did it!

Ok, so here is how the run came to be:

Kelsey sends me a message on Facebook back in March saying we should do a half marathon.  It was a great even to raise money for those who are fighting cancer.  I said yes, but nothing really came of it and the race filled up.  Then, Porter was diagnosed.  Now, we had to run, so dad made some phone calls and we now had 6 spots.

I started "training".  I would run 3 to 4 miles during the week and then a longer run (between 9 and 10 miles) on Saturdays - note that I was not consistent in my running and only got in 3 or 4 long ones and my weekday runs were sporadic.  Most of our group was planning on just walking the whole thing so I figured I had a place to go if the running was too much...


Until, I got a call last night.  They weren't going to run.  There was a lot of smoke in the air.  Another one had the flu.  And one (Kelsey) forgot her running shoes!  I had to run it, but I didn't want to run alone...


so here is my little testimony of prayer.  It was about 9:30 and time for me to get to bed so that I could get up at my 3:00am wake up call. I knelt down and told Heavenly Father my dilemma.  The race had grown to mean a lot to me, it was an accomplishment I wanted to have, but I didn't want to experience it alone.  I didn't want to get french toast at the finish line by myself.  So, I asked him to find someone to run with me. At 9:40, my friend Spencer texts me to wish me luck. I tell him that it was just me.  That I was nervous, but I had to do it.  Then of course, I thanked him for his support.  I am not sure if it was a joke or not, but he replied with, "Oh man, I'm sorry...want me to run it with you? haha" Now, that was probably more of a joke on his part, but this was looking like an answer to my prayer!


It was.  Spencer and I ran that race!  And he was such a good running partner.  We made it all the way to mile 10 before we needed to stop and finished in about 2 hours and 15 minutes - beating my goal by a whole 15 minutes!



The run was a great experience.  I picked Spencer up at about 3:35am and got to American Fork High School right at 4.  We were on the first bus to the start of the race, but we didn't win anything from the raffle (even though we were feeling real lucky).  We did get some mickey mouse disposable gloves to keep our hands warm though!

We sat at the starting line for 2 hours.  I ran into a mom of one of my students and we chatted for a little. We bounced around, trying to keep warm.  And we signed the "Cancer Sucks" poster.  Then, I noticed Porter up in the corner of the huge blow up screen.  His picture was up there!  My aunt Michelle had submitted it and there he was!  It almost had me crying.

Finally, we were just minutes from go time and just anxious to actually start running!

We must have been just past the first mile marker when we ran into this...

I ran it for him. 

Then between marker 10 and 11 (the longest/worst two miles EVER), I got the following reminder:

So, we kept going.

From Mile 12 in, it was time to run and give it the last bit that we had.  As we were turning a corner, knowing the final stretch was near, I heard my name.  There were my supporters - Mom and Porter, cheering me in.  It was a pretty fabulous way to end the race.

My Poroto...

Is 16!

I can't believe it.  He got all grown up on me.

16 is huge!  With it comes:
- A license
- Dating

I know that I am partial, but let me tell you why I have the world's greatest brother.

(First, can I just say that I have more pictures of/with Porter than possibly anyone else.  And each one has a story to go with it. )

I can't even find the right word to describe how challenging the last few months have been for Porter.  To find out you have cancer is devastating.  You have two options - to mope and be sad or to simply be happy.  Porter has such a positive attitude about the situation.  I have not heard him complain once about how terrible the chemo is, how terrifying it is to know that in just a few months you will be using a prosthetic, or how miserable it is to lose your hair.  Not only does he never complain, but he is still constantly making us all laugh.  You can't help but smile when you are with Porter.  He is witty and quick.  The other night, me, mom, and Port were leaving the hospital.  He kind of stumbles and then says, "So mom, you want me to drive right?" Then he just starts laughing.  I love him.  Cancer has become a part of his life.  At first, we would do anything he asked and after awhile, we started giving attitude back. He quickly learned a new trick.  He would ask us to do something and if we hesitated he would just softly say, "cancer" and later "amputation".  He knows exactly how to get to us.

He is also one of the sweetest guys you will ever meet.  I would like to think that this is due to us sisters.  He is more sensitive than most - except for when he is trying to get on your nerves because he is good at that too.  He definitely puts others before himself.  He will give up what he likes to make someone else happy.  He rarely says no.  As we were leaving the hospital the other night, there was a group of people behind us.  Guess who held the door open for all of them? Yes.  Porter did.  Stud right?!  He looks for every little opportunity to serve.

I have told these stories before, but I think they are such a good show of his character.  When he knew that cancer was a possibility, Porter bravely said, "I'd rather it be me with cancer than anybody else."  Porter is not your typical 16 year old.  Then when we found out that it was actually, in fact, cancer, the doctor asked my parents if he was a good kid.  I think that is when dad got the most emotional...because Porter is such a good kid and in fact, probably the best.  The doctor said that Porter will only become better because of his new trial.  I can't even imagine how he can get any better.

He loves spending time with my students and he is seriously adorable when he does.  They love him.  He has come to visit my class on numerous occasions and has traveled with us on a few trips.  He even came with me to the special olympics to cheer on a student.  He goes out with dad and they fix lawns, help people move, etc.  In San Diego they had some type of "fruit to the homeless shelters" program set up.

Not only is he funny and kind, but he is so handsome.  He was maybe the most darling baby there ever was.  He was chunky, happy, and round.  He was quite perfect.  He gets smothered like you wouldn't believe (and times that by 10 now that he has cancer).

You can't tell me you wouldn't smother him too...

When I was about 12, I went on a walk with a friend through our neighborhood.  Two year old Porter really wanted to come, but for unknown reason, my friend and I didn't want to have him with us.  When we got back from our walk, we learned that Porter had tried following us and a neighbor found him wandering up our street.  It broke my heart and I saw how much that boy meant to me.  I also realized how much he looked up to me.  Now, I am the one looking up to him,

He has become my hero.  He has kept his head high and a smile on his face.  I am amazed by his courage, his love, and his surety in Heavenly Father's plan.  Porter is going to do amazing things in this life.  He has no idea the impact he has made over the last few months.  People who don't even know him have told me how inspirational he is. Visit porterstrong.com to follow Porter through his journey.

Happy birthday Porter!  I love you with every piece of my heart.

a tribute to my dad

Over the last few years, as I have tried to live as an independent adult, it has become very apparent to me just how much my parents have influenced me.  Not only that, but I see all the work that they have put into raising us.  That responsibility becomes second nature to parents as their children grow up.  For example: my mom always passes up something for herself so that she can get somethings for one of us and dad is such a sucker for us and always ends up getting us what we want - especially when it comes to tech gadget stuff.  They hardly notice that they are doing it now. They have given all of their time, practically all of their income, all of their hearts, their love, their patience - their lives to their children.  I am grateful now and I can only imagine how much that gratitude will grow come the day when I have my own family.

Today, I want to talk about my extraordinary dad.  

I was lucky enough to be the first baby.  Old pictures and family videos make it apparent that my parents were learning just exactly how to be parents with me (and I love seeing that).  Dad loved catching us crying on tape.  Or putting his watches around my ankles so I can't walk.  He would bite fruit snacks in half and stick them on my face just to watch as I struggled to find the sticky snack.  I was his little buddy.  He would take me to do everything with him - hike, climb, fish, bike. I was there.

Our lives have changed drastically in the last few months and all I can do is awe at how my dad has handled everything that has come our way.  Dad was the one who did all the news breaking about Porter.  He told the family.  He informed extended family and friends. Hardest of all, he had to explain it all to Porter.  I walked downstairs as they were getting ready to discuss what was going to be happening over the following 9 months or so.  It was too hard for me to watch and I went back upstairs.  When I came back 45 minutes later, they were both teary eyed, but determined and positive.  I have been so impressed by my brother and it is easy to see that he has learned a lot from my dad.  Most importantly, he has learned how to be a worthy priesthood holder by following dad's example.

Dad has taken our current situation and has been able to find ways to serve others through it.  Porter has opened a whole new world of people to us - families who are fighting cancer, just like us.  It has been neat to watch dad reach out to them and develop relationships.  I also watch as my dad allows people to serve him, to serve us as a family.  It is not an easy thing to do, but my dad has done it with a very gracious heart.

He might seem tough, but my dad is a softy.  He has a very sweet heart.  Recently, a football player from our high school back in San Marcos passed away.  Dad had been MHHS football photographer for a few years and had gotten to know Anthony and love him.  When Syd told him, his heart broke.  Together, they cried and went through picture after picture of Anthony, talking about what a great kid he was.

Most of all, I know that my dad loves me.  We have always had dad wrapped around our fingers.  We often deserved the punishment of being sent to our rooms, but we never went without crying.  I can remember on multiple occasions, me lying in bed, crying, so sad...but it would only last for only a few minutes before dad would come up and cry with us.  He hated getting mad at us and always felt bad after.  I love that I can remember those moments because they have become so precious to me.

Just a few days after we found out Porter had cancer, I left for a cruise.  I was supposed to meet at Cami's house at 4:45 in the morning.  She called me at 4:50.  That is what woke me up.  It had been an emotionally exhausting weekend and all of the sudden, I was in a panic because I wasn't going to make my flight and therefore miss my cruise.  I ran upstairs to wake my mom up and beg her to take me to the airport.  Dad heard me explain what was happening to my half asleep mother and shot out of bed.  I am so grateful for that half hour we got to spend in the car together. 

I have found a lot of my dad in me and I am proud to be his daughter. I am a sobbing mess as I reminisce on all the greatness that makes up my dad.  I am so blessed to have such a strong and loving father.  No doubt I am a daddy's girl - always and forever his little kukiluki.

My Melanie

My years in Provo were so good for me - it was there that I have met some of the most wonderful people in the world.

Melanie is one of them.  And I would like to wish her a very happy birthday!

Mel and I were in the same ward for four months before basketball brought us together.  For real - I chalk it all up to BYU basketball. We met during the 09 season and my life was changed forever.  It is actually a cute story....

So one day, I was sitting by the tent that Aubrey and I were attempting to man between just the two of us.  A cute boy walked by, in shock at how many tents were already up.  I saw the opportunity and snagged it (I asked him if he wanted to join our group).  We started the get to know you talk and when I told him that I lived in Chatsworth, he asked if I knew one of his friends, Mel.  I didn't know her and figured she must not live there, because I thought I knew everyone in my ward by now.  I was wrong.  He brought Melanie back to help us in our camping and it was instant friendship that was able to carry through so much more than just basketball.  She became a part of my everyday life.

Here are just a few reason why I keep her around:

Mel can dance like no one else.  She has a voice that melts your heart.  She is a fiercely loyal friend who loves with everything she has.  She is one of the most thoughtful girls ever.  One of my favorite roommates because she was always leaving cute sticky notes on your mirror and pillow.  She is grateful and express that often.  She is down to earth and will never judge a person.  In fact, she will give people more chances than they probably deserve.  I love conversations with her.  She is a great travel buddy.  Her sense of humor gets me laughing all of the time.  She has a kind heart.  A wonderful sense of style. Mad camera skills. And an amazing ability to steal all your NBA dream crushes.

Mel gets me through it all.  She was the first to call me after we found out Porter had cancer.  That, and so many of her other acts of kindness, will never be forgotten.  She has touched my heart and made me a better person.

Lately, I have been using my lack of cable and the NBA playoffs to visit her and it has been wonderful.  I cherish my adventures with this lovely lady and look forward to the many more we have coming - including a trip to NYC in 15 days!

Happy happy HAPPY birthday Melanie!

Love,

Me and my boyfriend...