g r a t i t u d e

It's that time of year. The time when we dream of turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin everything. That time when we get an extra long weekend. That time when, despite all of the cold and grey, everyone has extra holiday pep in their step. But more importantly, it is that time where we sit back and reflect on all those things we are grateful for.

My heart is overwhelmed when I think of all that is happened so far in 2014.

2014 had a very rough start for us with a miscarriage in January and one again in April. And while it still hurts, a hurt that will never go away, it has made me beyond grateful for where we are now. Here I am, 22 weeks pregnant with a sweet baby girl. I know all parents love their children, but I truly believe my love for this baby is not different, but comes with a lot more thankfulness.  My best friend sent me this post she had found and it is perfect, especially her last paragraph which includes,  "Infertility sucks for everybody it touches. But it's also it's own kind of wonderful, I think. Especially once the baby you've fought for is won. Those babies are spectacular; those babies are worth it." Baby girl is my miracle. (I have a collection of articles and links that helped me through everything and, like I have said before, someday they will make their way to my blog)

I am also grateful for the time we spent in Minnesota. I love and miss all of our friends there. Sure, the winter was miserably cold, but it was also a lot of fun! Lots of movies, crafts, games, and time inside.  We grew a lot, met many amazing and wonderful people, and most importantly, learned to be married (which, if I haven't mentioned before, is really easy when you're married to Ashton).

And that brings me to Ashton. Wow did I score. He has seen me on a rollercoaster of feelings this year and he continues to both be patient with me and everyone. Watching him has taught me to have patience. And then there is the way he takes care of me. When I would get sick, he just sat in the dark room with me, magically appearing with water, saltines, tylenol, and even mac 'n cheese. It is fun to watch him get ready to be a dad, snuggling with Millie and caring for our handsome pup.

Then there is Thor. I am grateful for a dog that has a cute whine and no idea how to mean bark. He only has accidents occasionally. He loves people almost as much as he loves food. And he is the perfect dog for our family.

Family. I am so grateful for my family. After a year in Minnesota, which was great, but we sure missed having family around. Now, we get to live with my parents and see them ALL of the time. "It's the best! I love it." And my fantastic in-laws (I seriously could not have married into a better family) are only half an hour away. We are so blessed to be surrounded by people we love so much.

I am grateful for my friends. You guys know who you are. To those who send me the thinking of you texts just when I need them. Or the flowers that made everything better. The friends who I can meet up with for breakfast and spend hours just talking with. Or the friends that live far away, the ones I get to see once a year if I am lucky. To those friends who we watch Tom Hanks movies with. The friends who we make plans with for more than a year from now (here's to summer 2016!). To those friends that I can always be my true BYU fanatic with. My friends are the greatest.

I am grateful for my job. Teaching has gotten hard (it has changed a lot over the past 6 years), but my students this year are amazing with their kind words, pictures, and little notes. Middle school isn't so bad after all :)

Most of all I am grateful for the gospel, for my Savior, and that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am so grateful that Ashton and I were able to be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity just over a year and a half ago. I am grateful to know that families are forever. Grateful for the relationship I have with my Savior. Grateful for a prophet to guide and lead us in these latter days. Grateful for the Book of Mormon. I have truly felt my Heavenly Father's love throughout this year and my life - for that, I am so grateful.

Best Buddies Dinner

Best Buddies. I joined in 2003 as a sophomore in high school and fell in love. It is the reason why I am a special educator today.

A little more than a year ago, I wrote this post about my dad and how he became a board member for Best Buddies Utah. I was (and continue to be) impressed and incredibly proud of my dad.

On the 13th, the Thorkelson clan went to a dinner for Best Buddies Utah, their biggest fundraiser of the year. We got there and opened the program. On the first page we found this:

He had no idea and neither did we. What a privilege it was to see him recognized and then hear him talk for a bit about how Best Buddies has changed him. I loved Best Buddies in high school and I am so grateful to my dad, who has brought it back into our family.

 ** On a side note: They had some items they were raffling off, as well as a silent auction. Ashton and I bought a few tickets and found the most adorable yellow baby girl basket. Of course, we stuck most all of our tickets in that one. We won :) I love collecting clothes (and all types of goodies) for our sweet baby.

pictures of baby girl smith

it's a G I R L

Ashton and I went in for my 20 week ultrasound on Friday. It was 30 minutes of magic. We saw baby's face, feet, spine, heart and watched in awe as she wiggled around.

We didn't want to find out the gender until we had made it back with all of our family, so the kind nurse gave us a little note to give the baker who had agreed to frost donuts pink or blue and stick them in a cake box.

The Smith's and Thorkelson's gathered for pizza and the big reveal. After some socializing and lots of happiness, Ashton and I went to open our box of donuts.

It was perfect. Everything about our little girl is already perfect. I have been feeling her moving, but Saturday I finally felt her moving against my hand! It feels like a dream.

And here are the pictures from our perfect night.

votes at school vs. votes at home

just in case you wanted more than the video

i know it is hard to see, but that is a P I N K frosted donut

We are in love.

thor and a grape

Thor. Thor. Thor.

He is our most favorite dog ever and my brother snapped some really cool pictures of him, I just have to share. Then, I have a very Thor story for you.

Always on his daddy's lap.

Why he loves the car.

That face though.

The bond that he has with Ashton is unbelievably sweet and to say he makes us happy is an understatement.

So, on Friday night, when he decided to eat a grape, we were worried. I had read before that grapes could be lethal to dogs and we quickly called an animal ER. They suggested we come in so that they could attempt to make him throw it up and do some blood tests to make sure he wasn't going into renal failure.

We rushed Thor to the doctor and we were there from 9:30 to 11:30 pm. It was just great. Long story short, Thor is alright. We had to take him back in Saturday night just to test his blood once more and everything looked fine.

Best part. Today, Thor and I were in the kitchen and I was going into the fridge to get myself some pickles (pregnant much). Guess what? The bag of grapes,  placed precariously on the edge of the fridge shelf, toppled over. I went into panic mode and rushed to pick up grapes, while Thor went into food frenzy mode and rushed to the juicy green grapes. I fished one out of his mouth, put him the corner, and told him to sit while I picked them up. 

Everything is fine now, grapes just make my heart beat a little faster now.

General Conference, October 2014

This past weekend was General Conference - one of my favorite times of the year. Every 6 months, in April and October, we are able to listen to / be inspired by our Church leaders. It consists of four beautiful sessions (two on Saturday and two on Sunday) plus one session for the men on Saturday night and one for the women of the Church, held the week before.

I just love listening to conference. It is a welcome break from our normal hustle and bustle of the weekend. The special thing about this conference was that many of our speakers spoke in their native language. It's beautiful to hear and it is amazing how the Spirit is able to speak to us, even when we are listening to a language we do not know.

Ashton and I were able to go to the Sunday afternoon session with my dad, Porter, and Hannah. It was the perfect way to end the weekend. I feel so full of peace, love, and have an overall new confidence in life (if that makes any sense).

The very best part is that, if you missed any of it, if you want to watch a certain talk or all talks again, or if you want to print out you favorite talks to study,  you can! They are found here. Use these resources as they will enrich your life and continue to fill you with peace. I try to study one talk a week and I always have high hopes that I will share my thoughts on each talk here - maybe this time I really will.

week 15

Life has been pretty boring ever since we have found out I was pregnant. Boring in every sense except for the fact that I am growing a baby!

It is probably boring because Ashton and I are back to work, our siblings are back to school, and we have yet to make new couple friends in our area. But in my defense, by the time I get home from work, I am ready to crash - and most of the time, that is exactly what I do.

But, back to baby.

Yesterday, I hit 15 weeks! In my last doctor's appointment, my awesome doctor told me that at this point, miscarriage is very unusual. It finally feels like I can relax and smile and be so happy and excited about our baby. I can feel sure in my pregnancy. It is a beautiful thing and I have been an emotional wreck waiting for this moment - not that I still don't have those minutes of worry here and there.

So, my first appointment with doctor wasn't until I was already 10 weeks along. Waiting for that day to come was hard and then going in for my first ultrasound was one of the scariest moments. (My first ultrasound back in January was when we discovered that I had a blighted ovum. I still can't breath when I remember that day.) BUT, things were 100 times different this go around. This time, we saw a beautiful, perfect baby, dancing around with a perfect little heartbeat. I am already so proud of my tiny baby, so I can totally show off with some precious ultrasound pictures, right?

Then, just last week, I went in for my second appointment and it was just as magical. We didn't get an ultrasound this time around, but we had another opportunity to hear our baby's heartbeat. Doctor warned me before she started that sometimes it takes a bit to find the heartbeat, just so I didn't get to worried. She put the cool heartbeat tool on my lower belly and there was baby's heart. She didn't have to search at all. In fact she said, "Wow! Very cooperative!" And of course, we have it recorded and I listen to it daily.

We are pretty excited to meet our baby. For those of you who are wondering, we will find out gender, but we still have another 5 weeks before that happens.