A weekend adventure

It's 12:24 a.m. I am sitting in the passenger seat of my car and headed to Southern California. Aaron and I decided to come down for the Gold Cup game (the USA vs. Mexico), but it might just turn into a weekend of Disneyland since the tickets are extremely expensive.

We listened to some of the Disneyland ride songs that Aaron has on his iPod. I got incredibly giddy. My heart was ready to explode with joy and I had an episode of extreme excitement. I am not some Disneyland fanatic, but I grew up going with my parents on a regular basis and just thinking about it brings back such happy, even magical memories.

The soccer game would be amazing too. I have never been to such a big game in my life. No matter what we do, this weekend is going to be pretty amazing.

Oh, and I have finished my first week of ESY (summer school) and can say that I love each of my students already. I am teaching a kindergarten autism unit which is so different from my upper elementary life skills class. I sure miss my kids, but this little summer class is definitely going to help me grow as a teacher.

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My men

As everyone knows, Father's day was on Sunday, and for most of you who don't know, my baby brother's birthday is today.

In honor of both of them, let me tell everyone a little story from Sunday...

Let me preface this story: Dad has been talking about these great Holesom longboards that a friend of his from high school was making. Of course Porter wanted one for his birthday, and I don't blame him, they look really neat!  Apparently dad had tried buying one, but told Porter that they were on backorder for 6 months.

Now here is where the fun begins: We got back from church on Sunday and it is time for dad to open his Father's Day gifts.  Everyone gives dad his cards and then there is a huge box for him to open.  Inside it there is a Holesom board with hot pink wheels.  According to mom, she was able to find a board for dad through some special contacts.  Lucky dad.  Porter did not think this was too fair.

After dinner, Porter was still being a grump.  Sort of still trying to be happy for dad, but still really confused as how dad would accept that last Holesom board as a gift and leave him hanging.  We were getting ready for dessert when we decided that while everyone was home, we should sing happy birthday to the Porter boy.  As we are signing, a Holesome board magically appears.

Turns out dad is a big joker, but he never forgets to show us how much he loves us.

So to the wonderful men/boy in my life, I love you both.  I couldn't ask for a better dad or brother.  You two are the face of the Thorkelson family.  Because of you guys, everyone loves us.  Because of you two, no one ever stops laughing in our house. You guys are quite the pair, the dynamic duo, and my favorites.  I love you.

There's no place like home.

So I know my family has been living in Utah for almost a year now, but I will always call San Marcos home.

Porter and I drove down together yesterday. The boy really slept for at least half of the drive, but when we got off ob Deer Springs Road, he just could not stop smiling. There is something therapeutic about visiting your home. There is this overwhelming sense of joy. It is beautiful.

Yesterday I got to spend time with Jackie and Joe at the beach. Jackie and I then ate at my favorite Mr. Taco. Delicious. I spent some time with some family best friends, the McMasters. Today I have visited my lovely anthropologie. It's crazy how I don't mind going places on my own here. I feel a certain confidence in knowing this area better than any other place I have lived. After shopping I sat at moonlight beach, ate Mexican with Joe, and have made it to my favorite little beach in Carlsbad. I have seen dolphins in the water. Gosh, I love this.

Robi flashback

Today I decided to go outside and sit on the grass by my door to read in the sun for a little.
I remember doing the same thing two summers ago, at my place just a block or two from where I am now. Oh how I love summers in Provo. As I was reading, I got a call from Robi. He wanted to hang out. I told him I would be outside waiting for him. While waiting, I kept reading and totally got lost in my book. Suddenly I hear the biggest, loudest motorcycle pull up next to me on the SIDEWALK and there is Robi with a mischievous smile on his face. He knew very well that I am terrified of guns and motorcycles and we often joked that those are the two reasons we could never get married.
Get ready! He told me. Hahaha yaaaaa right. After at least 15 minutes of arguing, that boy got me onto the bike. I am not kidding when I say it was the biggest motorcycle I have ever seen. I wish I remembered what kind it was, but I was too worried about my life to remember anything except being on that bike, squeezing Robi, and telling him my parents would never forgive him...
I miss my Robison. He is the only person to have ever gotten me onto a motorcycle. I won't ride another one. That was our thing.

a week of ups and downs

So much happened last week.  I have never been through so many ups and downs and, even now, I am still recovering.

Monday started last week with the sad news of a student passing away.

Tuesday was the first day of our last week of school.

Wednesday I presented my 6th grade students at their 6th grade graduation.  I would like to say that I was strong and said marvelous things about them without crying, but I was not strong at all.  I sobbed...I said great things about them but I am not sure many people caught any of my words through my flood of tears.  I sure was not excpecting myself to be quite that emotional.  Those kids have changed my life and it all hit me at that moment (not that it hasn't been apparent all year!).

Thursday was field day - all fun and games outside - until a student went missing and not just any student but my nonverbal student.  He is my boy.  I won't go into detail but that was probably the scariest thing I have ever gone through.  Poor kid knew he was in trouble when he saw me.  He pulled me in for a hug and gave me a big kiss on the cheek.

Friday was our last day of school and the kids were done by 10:15, so I only had a few kids at school that day.  My great principal let the special ed team leave at 12:00 for Nate's funeral.  What an amazing family.  I was so impressed by their composure, love, and confidence.  I loved seeing pictures of Nate as a chunky little baby.  I loved that his casket was bright yellow with black trims, just like the buses he loved so much.  I love seeing his "Time go home?" quote displayed on a tile placed above his casket.  I loved seeing a few of my students and their families there, supporting one another, finding comfort together.

Saturday I got to come back to Eagle Mountain.  One of my students was baptized and it was an absolutely wonderful baptism.  The spirit was so strong and my sweet student was so obviously full of joy and it was definitely contagious.  A few of my other students were there too.  It was the best way to end my week and to know that I can still see my students even when school is out.

This week I really felt the fragility of life.  The way it can change dramatically in an instance.  I felt my Heavenly Father's love as I saw the healing power in the peace felt by Nate's family and again in the sacred baptism ordinance that my student participated in.  I am so grateful for my job, for the sweet spirits that shine for me everyday.  I don't know how I am going to survive all summer without them!

the world's most heart warming job is mine.

I started this post a few weeks ago and decided it was time to finish it.

5/8/11
When people find out that I teach special ed, I always hear things like "oh you must be so amazing. Your heart is so good. You must be so patient." But I am not those things with everyone. My good heart and patience really just comes out with my students, they magnify what I am capable of. That is a blessing Heavenly Father has given me, one I am so grateful I discovered while picking my future career.

5/30/11
Last night I found out that Nate, a student in the other special education unit at my school passed away. My heart aches. The kids I work with tend to be a little more medically fragile, but this was not at all expected.  I just want to cry but I am so glad that I can take comfort in knowing that he has a working physical and mental body now, that he is happy with our heavenly father. This particular student was always saying, "Time to go home?" As I was talking to Cami, his teacher about him, she told me that she can just hear him saying time to go home and that he really is home now.

I take comfort in reading 3 Nephi 17 :

7. Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.
9. And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him.
10. And they did all, both they who had been healed and they who were whole, bow down at his feet, and did worship him; and as many as could come for the multitude did kiss his feet, insomuch that they did bathe his feet with their tears.

As I read this, I can see Christ holding each of my sweet students and giving them their perfect bodies.  I feel His overwhelming love for them.  Then the next verses read...

11. And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought.
12. So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and themultitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him.
21.And when he had said these words, he ^awept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and ^bblessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.

  My sweet students get Christ's full attention twice. I know that He knows each of us individually and loves us all the same, but here He blesses first those with afflictions (the kids that I teach everyday at school), healing them each, and then He calls all the children and takes them up one at a time and blesses them.  Maybe that's selfish of me or, I don't even know what I would call it, but according to me, they deserve it and I am so glad that I know that Christ is there to take care of each of my sweet students, including little Nate.

He wants us to become like little children and I work with the purest of pure hearts, children who in all actuality, are perfect.

I forget how wonderful my job is, getting caught up in the chaotic jumble of paper work and dates.  I made sure that today I got to see each of my students smile and remember how much they have changed my life. 

Nate is missed.  I could not wait for him to be in my class next year.  He changed lives.  My students remember him as a good friend.  I will always remember how he would try to get me to play tag with him on the playground.  The way he'd run up and poke me, scrunch his face, laugh, and run away.  One of my students told her mom that he [Nate] would push her on the swings in heaven.  I couldn't imagine heaven any better than that.