Cruising!!!

Ok - this is two months late, but I have to have some type of documentation of this cruise!

To start it off, I was supposed to be at Cami's house at 4:45 the morning of our flight.  I slept in until 4:50 when she called asking where I was.  Dad bolted out of bed and he miraculously got me to the airport on time where I met Cami and Amber.  We proceeded to Houston where we took a Carnival bus to Galveston and entered our ship - the Carnival Triumph.

Our ship was a party.  It was a 5 day cruise with two stops.  Days 1 through 4 (while on the ship) looked something like this!  We danced...tried food like alligator fritters and frog legs...enjoyed sunsets...made friends with foreigners...and ate lots and lots of soft serve.

Our first stop was in Progreso.  Not my favorite place, but we did get to see some beautiful ruins!  And we got rings with our names carved into them for 5 bucks. Score.

Our second stop was in Cozumel.  Cozumel was stunning.  The water was crystal blue.  We went snorkeling and we took pictures with some really pretty birds.

Our last day on the cruise was a blast full of friends, more dancing, jumping, and lots of fun.

Overall, it was another cruise success!  It was a nice getaway and a good opportunity for me to relax and really think about my family, Porter, and everything that had changed in my life just two days prior to the cruise.  To top it all off, Cami and Amber were the perfect traveling companions!  Two angels in my life.

sad

Yesterday, while mom and I were on our way back from buying stuff for my class BBQ and talent show, she got a phone call.

I could hear Sydney crying...

One of her closest friends from San Marcos had passed away.  From what I understand, he had had a seizure while playing basketball during 6th period.

Mom and I headed to Syd's work.  When I went to hug her, I could feel the pain in her heart and then I was crying with her because I know what it feels like to loose a friend.  I had flashbacks of the night Robi passed away - still one of the hardest nights of my life.

I didn't know Anthony, but he was obviously loved by everyone.  Syd had the best things to say about him.  He seemed to light up Mission Hills and could get everyone to laugh.  It was heartbreaking to watch her tell Dad who loved Anthony as well.  Here is an article that a newspaper in San Diego has on him.

How blessed I am to know that there is life after death, that our Heavenly Father created the Plan of Salvation so that we could return to live with Him again.  We can take comfort knowing that Anthony, Robi, and all of our loved ones who have passed on are truly in a better place.  Though, with the peace we can find there, it doesn't mean death doesn't bring sadness.

My heart goes out to the family and friends on Anthony.  I am sorry for that hole you are feeling in your hearts.  The pain of losing someone so young and so suddenly is almost unbearable.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

To the Sundells - I still think of your Robi everyday.  I love you guys.

my mom

I have one amazing mom.

There are no words to adequately describe her.  No words to express the love that I have for her.  She is my example.  She loves with all of her heart.  She believes and lives to show how much she believes.  She has raised four pretty great girls and one of the strongest, bravest boys in the whole world.  She fights with us - especially now.  She never complains and she has every right to.  She takes the trials with stride and gives all of us the support we are looking for.  She loves my dad and we know it.  She loves us and we are told that everyday.

Mother's Day 2011

Every other Friday, Porter goes into the hospital for chemo.  This Friday marked the start of round three.  It is hard.  You never want Fridays to come and that makes the weekdays drag on forever.  But, there is nothing like driving to the hospital after work on Friday to find your mom and dad sitting there with Porter.  He is my brother, my one, studly brother, but he is their son...their only son.  And the way they have taken this trial and kept going is not only an example to me, but to everyone who knows my parents.

Mom and Porter.

She is my best friend.

My mom is kind.  She is full of charity, always giving and never taking.  She knows each of us better than we know ourselves.  She is grateful.  She is patient.  She is tenderhearted.  Not only is she everything that is good, but she is fun.  She has taught us to enjoy life.  To dance.  To sing.  To not let tests take the fun out of life.   

Oh, and did I mention that she is beautiful!? 

She is everything I hope I can become.

it's her birthday!

I have always been accused for having "too many best friends".  It is true.  Once you have been my best friend, you will always be my best friend...but there is one girl that claims the top spot.  My mom always told me I would meet friends that would I would keep forever at BYU.  I didn't realize how true that was.  I met lots of wonderful people and made friendships that I would cherish forever, but with this lucky lady, I will not only cherish old memories, but constantly be making new ones.

I am pretty sure she is the most talked about person on my blog.  I cannot begin to express how much I love her, how much I have needed her, and how much fun we have together.

Aubrey and I were on the same floor my freshman year and I am pretty sure I terrified her just a few weeks in (maybe I put on a sailor striped booty short pajama set, leggings, and heels and walked down the hall...), but come basketball season and after a few dance parties, we realized that we had a lot in common and were actually pretty fabulous together.

Sophomore year, I didn't know who to move in with.  I finally got Liz to invite me to move in with her and a few other girls at Liberty Square.  Lucky for me, Aubrey was one of those girls.  I loved that apartment.  All of those girls have a special place in my heart.  But it really allowed Aubrey and I to become best friends.

We pretty much lived with each other the rest of our time at BYU (I say pretty much because our senior year we weren't roommates, just neighbors. And no, it wasn't because we had gotten in a fight like so many asked! That's just how it worked out).  We had so many adventures over the next three years!  Road trips.  Real Salt Lake. Urban camping in front of the Marriott.  Late night pillow talks.  Bon fires.  Mechanical bull rides.  Night up until 2:00 am on the floor of S6 working on her advertising program.  Hikes to the Y.  Slip n slides at Rock Canyon.  Boys.  Ice skating accidents (I try not to bring this one up often).  Pulling pranks.  80's Dancing.  Sporting event after sporting event (BYU has never seen two such dedicated girls).  Party throwing.  Aerobic dancing.  Talent show booty shaking. Off roading.


Now that she is in New York, we have added a whole new list to our adventures.

Along with all of that fun, we have also gone through our share of heart break and hard times.  We have experienced the death of a dear friend.  We have gone through dumb boys.  We have conquered hundreds of miles keeping us apart.

But, nothing will change our friendship.

She has just the words I need to hear.  She understands how much more fun it is to sit front row during football, basketball, and sometimes even volleyball.  She listens when I need a listener and talks when I need advice.  She has a giving heart and works hard for everything she does.  She loves the gospel and it shows in the way she lives her life.  She supports me in every aspect of my life and loves my students almost as much as I do (even though she hasn't met my current ones).

She makes me laugh, but we all know I am funnier.

I haven't seen her since October - the longest we have gone since she moved to New York.  I am going out at the end of June and I am beyond excited to spend a few days with her.

Just some stats thanks to fb - Aubrey and I have been friends since September 2006.  We have 273 friends in common and 455 known photos on fb together.

So Aubrey,

Thank you for being my best friend.  My life without you would be dull, boring, and lacking in so many ways.  I hate thinking about it.  I love our emails and gchats throughout the day.  I love that you are just a phone call away.  I love that even from across the country, we are always still on the same page.  I love how  everyone has great things to say about you.  I love the friends that we have made together.

I love to remember everything we have done and accomplished and I look forward to all that we still have coming!

I miss coming home to find you in my bed.  I miss sharing a room.  I miss getting frozen yogurt with you.  I crazy miss you with me at BYU games.  I miss hearing you laugh...ok.  I could keep saying what I miss, but this is starting to sound a little weird.  I miss you.

As always, I am struggling to come up with pictures to adequately show our relationship...It spend the whole day looking through pictures over and over and over - so here are some random goodies I found from our years of best friendship.

Love love love you!

Salem Pond

Today, we went on a field trip to Salem Pond.  This is probably my favorite field trip of the year.  Tons of life skills units all over Utah County come together for fishing, some food, and lots of fun.  This is my third year at Salem Pond and it was the first year that the weather was perfect (it is typically freezing and rainy).

The best part of this field trip is that you get to run into students/coworkers from your past.  Everyone has their eyes peeled - looking for that someone they used to know.  I am no exception.  I ran into lots of my students from last year, some friends from my program, and students that I worked with 4 years ago as an aide!  They have gotten so big.  Most of all, I wanted to see people from first year of teaching.  I got to see one of my aides, Sandy, and we talked for a few minutes.  I was so lucky to work with such wonderful people my first year.  I got to visit with my only girl from my first year.  She is still as beautiful as ever.  Her mom and grandma were there too.  I couldn't believe that they remembered me.

There was one person that I just had to see.  And he was the first one I found.  I have talked about him several times before.  My Alex.  He changed my life and if ever there was a day that I needed to see him, it was yesterday.  I told Cami and Kelsey, both who are familiar with Alex and how much he means to me, to keep a look out for him.  Within 10 minutes of being at Salem Pond, Cami said, "Tati!  Alex.  He is right there!"  I ran to him and hugged him before he had a chance to see it was me.  When I started talking to him, I could feel that familiar hug get tighter and tighter.  He didn't want to let go and maybe that brought a few tears to my eyes.  I love this boy.

The family blog...

My dad is an amazing writer - he is a lot better with words than I am.

Visit it here - http://www.thorkelson.me/

And keep up with Porter.

The One

*Let me apologize now.  My writing is all over the place.  My sentences might run on because I can't find an easy way to tell this story.  I am not sure how to organize it, how to get it to run smoothly, because it is hard to find the right words.

Last Friday, I got an email from dad saying: "Elder Christensen would like to visit Porter. Apparently, President Monson received a letter from someone and he has asked Elder Christensen to visit us. :)"

Again, there are no words.  I don't know where to begin.  It is yet another day where my heart is bursting with love and so much thanks. I know I have said that the last few posts of mine, but today it is about to pop.  For those who know me well, I have clutched my hand over my heart maybe 100 times already today (and it is not even 10:00 in the morning yet)...this is for real.

Elder Craig C. Christensen came over last night.

But, let me take a step back and insert another story.  A few hours before Elder Christensen came, someone else knocked on our door and brought a very sweet spirit in.  Mom told us that around 3:00 there was a knock at the door.  There stood a man who introduced himself to my mom as Porter's chemistry teacher.  With tears welling up in his eyes, he told me mom that he had just found out about Porter through some students.  He showed true concern and we were touched to see him come to our house to check on Port.  He sat down with Porter and told him he didn't need to worry about chemistry work because that's what chemo is...chemistry.  He told Porter to try and understand what the chemo is and what it was doing to help him overcome cancer.  Our hearts were touched to see a man care so much about my special brother.  He filled our home with love.

Elder Christensen entered our home around 7:00 last night.  What an amazing, sacred, spiritual, loving, and awe-inspiring experience to say the least.  It is something that we will forever remember.

First, I have a little connection, well connections, to Elder Christensen and that just proved so much more to me how much the Lord is involved in this whole situation.  I met Elder Christensen's son, Ben, my freshman year at BYU.  Ben and Drew are best friends.  In fact, Drew married one of Ben's cousins.  The Livingstones and the Christensens raised their boys together.  And since Elder Christensen loves the Livingstones, and they love him, I already had a soft spot for him in my heart.  Elder Christensen has also had a few run-ins with mom and her family throughout the years.

He came in, met the whole family, and we sat down.  He said, "President Monson is aware of you Porter, and he has asked me to come in his behalf."  He chuckled and told us that he knew he was a poor substitution for President Monson, but none of us thought so.  He then told us that President Monson had been praying for Porter.  As if that didn't make us feel loved and special enough, he then told us that President Monson, the First Presidency, and the Apostles had prayed for Porter, by name, in the temple for the last two Thursdays.  Oh how we have truly felt the love of these men (and all of our family and friends) support us through the last few weeks.  Miracles have been pouring down upon us.  President Monson, a man who has the weight of the world on his shoulders, busy leading the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, has sent specific prayers to Heavenly Father for my brother, for Porter James Thorkelson.

Elder Christensen asked Porter about things he liked to do, getting to know him better.  I have such a wonderful brother.  We had lots to say about Porter, more than he had to say about himself.  After we discussed Porter, sports, rugby, and his sweet heart, Elder Christensen asked Porter if he had anything he would like to tell President Monson.  This blew Porter away.  His face was shocked and he just smiled.  Not a normal smile, but an oh my goodness, really?! type smile.  What would you say to the Prophet if you had a chance to have a message sent to him?  Especially at just 15, how could you find the words to express everything in your heart.  Needless to say, thank you was said and love was shared.  Elder Christensen left us with a prayer.  We knelt down and he spoke words of comfort, mentioning miracles and love.

After Elder Christensen left, my dad, grandpa, and Scott gave Porter a blessing.  What a blessing it is to have so many worthy priesthood holders in my life.  As they were about to start the blessing, I reached for my heart again...Porter saw this and we shared a smile as we closed our eyes.

I am very grateful for the opportunity that we had to meet with Elder Christensen.  I am grateful for the Gospel, I know it is true.  I have a new gratitude towards President Monson.  I know that he is the living Prophet here on the earth at this time.  I know that he truly watches out for "the one" and that includes my brother.  I also know that what Porter is going through will greatly bless him and our family.  A new spirit has been brought to our house.  A new selflessness.  A new love.  I hope we never lose that.



*** ALSO.  Thanks to all of those who have blue on to support my brother.  Those pictures will be coming and shared because it is overwhelming!  It means so much to us to see such a large amount of people, some who don't even know Porter, show their love.