Porter strong.

My heart is about to explode!  I will never be able to express how much love and gratitude I have felt over the last 6.

When Porter was diagnosed, the love came pouring in.  People from our community, ward, past wards, friends, and family were instantly by our side.  None of us have spent any of the last few months fighting alone.  

Almost instantly after Porter was diagnosed, a group of people got together with Anything For A Friend and started planning Porter's fundraiser.  On Saturday, that fundraiser happened and it was one of the most wonderful events I have ever been to.  It was overwhelming to see how many people came!  All of it was so well organized and beautifully put together.  It was amazing as my family was able to come in and simply enjoy the whole thing (even through our tears of love and joy). People who didn't know my brother came.  People who didn't even know my family came!  Friends from southern California made their way up to run with Porter.  I had FIVE students (past and present) come to support us.  It fills my heart with so much love.

I have a sweet story I have to tell.  As I have mentioned many times before - I love my job. In fact, I don't think that quite says it right.  I LOVE my job is more like it.  My first year of teaching was a dream come true.  That was when I met my Alex.  He still is an answer to many of my prayers.  When I am with him, I can feel my Savior.  I have no doubt that he has a very close, very real relationship with Christ.  He is an example to me of pure innocent Christlike love.  I could go on and on and on and on about this sweet boy.  He came to the fundraiser and surprised me.  Our reunion was priceless.  He giggled and screamed my name as he ran to me.  I held him and didn't want to let go.  He started asking me about Porter and I showed him a picture.  It was a picture of Porter when we went to BYU's practice.  He had his cast on.  Alex asked me Porter was hurt.  I told Alex that Porter had been very sick and that they had to remove part of his leg so that he could get better.  Alex looked at me with sad eyes and simply said, "oh...ouch."  Later, Alex saw Porter and walked right up to him and gave him a hug.  Two of my favorite boys became more than just friends.  Alex became a part of my family.  Thank you Kira, Bob, and Janae for bringing Alex and being a part of my heart.  I love you all so much.

The event opened with a 5k.  I can't explain what it felt like to see hundreds of people out running along Highland Drive for my brother.  Kelsey and I were able to push a student from my school in his wheel chair for the whole run!  That was a very good time - especially up the hill.  He sure loved it.  We tried to keep up with Porter and the big buff men who were pushing him, but that didn't happen!  Porter crossed that finish line well before we did!

Then it was time for food, fun, auctions, friends and family.  We were surrounded by people who were there for one reason - my brother.

I was especially touched by two families I met that day.  They were smiling and more than excited to help.  They looked at Porter with love and empathy.  Both of them have recently lost boys to cancer.  I think of them and my heart breaks.  We are constantly reminded how blessed we are to get to know so many wonderful people through Porter's fight.  To those two families - you will forever be a part of our lives.  I can't thank you enough for your sweet examples.

I don't think I can even begin listing everyone who helped with the fundraiser.  I want to thank each of you.  Everyone who put in hours of preparation.  Everyone who came and donated.  Everyone who couldn't make it, but donated anyway.  I want to thank all of you who have supported my family, especially Porter.

I want to tell Porter how proud I am of him.  I know that all my sisters would agree with me when I say that we are the luckiest and that he is the greatest brother in the world.  He has been such an example to us through all of this.  I love you my Poroto!!!

*** I just found out that over $55,000 was raised on Saturday.  Again, I am moved to tears.  I wish there were more words to express how thankful I am.  Like my dad said on Saturday, when we say thank you, we are really saying we love you. 

Happy Birthday!

Today is my dad's birthday!

For some reason, thinking of him and all that he has done for me, always makes me tear up.  There is no man out there like my dad.  They always say a girl marries a man like her father.  I know I am not married, but I am almost instantly drawn to men who remind me of my dad.  And there are many reasons why...

One of the things I love most about dad is his sweet testimony.  He is so strong and firm in the gospel.  I don't know that I have ever seen him show as much emotion as he does when he bares his testimony.

He does not make decisions without the Lord. Once upon a time, I was put on a wait list for the Special Ed program at BYU.  It was dad who talked me through it.  That is one of my favorite memories with him.  I sat on the floor in some random hallway in the library on the phone with dad.  He just told me of all his experiences and challenges he had been going through at that time.   He told me how his career path had been made through prayer.  He had recently quit his job and didn't necessarily have another job in line, but he wasn't worried.  I cherish that conversation.

He laughs.  And makes others laugh with him.

He works hard.  When life gets hard, he works harder.

He values service and has made sure that service was a part of our lives growing up.

He is wonderful with babies.  They love him.  It's no secret, he is so ready to be a grandpa.

He loves a good game.  I love going with dad to cheer on our favorite teams.

He bleeds blue.  And taught me to bleed blue too.

He is willing to try anything and is good at most everything he tries.

He taught me Van Halen.

He is logical and can help me figure out things that us emotional girls like to over analyze.

He loves my mom and shows it. Often.

He has supported me in every dream I have had.

He loves adventure.  Thanks to him I can camp, ride terrifying roller coasters, hike, fish, and be talked into jumping off a rock.

I love my dad.  Together, my parents have gotten our family through all types of trials.  I watch in awe as they support my brother in his fight.  I see so much of my dad in Porter - more than just the fact that Porter is my dad's mini me.  I have my parents to thank for who I am today.

Dad,
I am so proud to be able to call myself your daughter.  I am who I am because of your example, support, and love.  I am at a loss of words.  Nothing can express how grateful I am for all that you have given to me. I love you with all of my heart.

xoxo,
your kukiluki

Proud to be an American

I remember September 11, 2001 better than most days of my childhood.

I was in 8th grade back then (only a grade or two older than some of my own students now).  I also had the guest room as my own room.  Those days, I liked to wake up at 5 and take my time getting ready, maybe watching some TV, listening to the radio.  No one else was ever awake yet and it was like the downstairs became my own little house.  On that morning, I was listening to 93.3 on the radio.  People were calling in, talking about airplanes being flown into the Twin Towers.  It was the only thing they were talking about and I could sense the anxiety in their voices.  When I ran to wake mom up and tell her what I was hearing, she told me that the radio didn't always tell the truth and that it was nothing.  Not long after I had left her room, she came running down the stairs to turn on the TV.  I remember she was crying and told me we were at war.

School was long and silent that day.  Teachers had puffy eyes and kept slipping into their offices.  I don't remember watching the news at school, but I do remember stealing peaks at their office TV's.  I can still see the planes crashing, the billowing smoke, and the towers collapsing.  Those are images I will never forget.  Teachers kept telling us that we were living history.  It took me a few years to really understand what that meant...

Here I am, 11 years later, teaching my own students about that day.  About the devastation, pain, and heartbreak, but also about the unity and pride it brought out in all Americans.  What a blessed nation we are.

Porter Strong Update

It has been awhile since I have had the chance to really sit down and gather what has happened the last month.

It was just a little over a month ago when I sat in Primary's with my family as Porter followed the doctor to have his leg amputated below the knee.  He had a cast on it for two weeks and a little break from chemo.  During that time, we got used to seeing a blue cast.  Just a week after surgery, we had the opportunity to watch as Porter became a Thursday's Hero for BYU's football team.  My love for that team has only increased 100x since then (a feat that I didn't even think was possible!). We received a grand tour of the football office, watched a few videos - one of Porter that they had shown the team earlier that morning and one full of getting to know players/coaches and highlights from previous seasons.  Then we watched the last half hour of practice, drank team gatorade, and enjoyed some sun.  When the boys were done, they came over and showered Porter with gifts, kind words, and promises to go fishing.  They all signed his cast and a Y flag.  Porter also got to sign a flag that the team has run onto the field before every game.  Let me tell you how neat it is to watch the flag come out and seeing my brother's signature right in the center of the "Y".  When BYU played our first game against Washington State, Porter's signature was the only one on the flag. 


Currently, the cast has been off for a few weeks and he has some silicon "shrinker" device around his stub.  I am pretty sure it has a name, I just can't think of it off the top of my head.

All in all, Porter is doing great.  For the most part, he is happy and upbeat.  He doesn't get why people think he is an inspiration which makes it all the more touching.  That boy has one solid outlook on life and he is anxious to be able to go out with his buddies again.  Just yesterday he was saying that he felt like he held his friends back, which breaks my heart, but at the same time he turns to his sisters to come sit and watch movies with him.  I love how excited he gets when he wants to hang out with me!  Yep.  No doubt about it.  I have the best brother in the whole world.  I love him.

So, here is my Porter Strong Fundraiser plug!  It will be on Saturday, September 22 in Draper.  I feel silly asking people to come because we have already received so so much, but if you don't already have plans, just stopping by would mean the world to me and my family.

*This morning, I woke up and saw that a video had been posted to the Porter Strong fb page.  Thank you to the girls who created it.  I couldn't hold back the tears.  It was such a sweet video full of people who are supporting Porter.  I will put the link up later today.

My Shaving Challenge.

For those who know me well, as well as those who have gone on any trip with me....

I have to shave my legs daily.  I will admit that shaving is my OCD.

I like to blame this on the fact that I was a swimmer, but that isn't the real truth.  Daily shaving is something that I have done since I first picked up a razor.  My leg hair is dark and grows faster than anyone I know - I think it is a curse.  I have friends and sisters who will go weeks, if not months, without shaving.  I can't even sleep with prickly legs.  If I don't get the chance to shave in the morning, my day is shot!  I am self conscious and all I want to do is go home and shave. It is a routine that has become a part of my life...until I started with this magic called laser hair removal.

Laser hair removal and I became acquainted a few months ago, but today was the first treatment on my lower legs.  It feels like you are being flicked with a fiery hot rubber band over and over and over again.  I am miserable the whole time.  Let me tell you that I pretty much have zero tolerance for pain.  I always thought I was tough, but the lady lasering my leg hairs was laughing at my flinches and scrunched faces the whole time.  She was shocked (and maybe a little impressed) at all of my thick, dark hair - a trait I like to blame on my Italian Argentine blood.

The worst news came when it was over...

I can't shave my legs for a week.  I don't know if I will survive!  Please note that laser doesn't mean you walk out with smooth legs.  In fact, I am prickly already!  I can't even think about it right now or else I won't get to sleep.

The only good thing about this being over is that I am one step closer to never shaving my legs again.

I may or may not be saying a few little prayers that the weather takes a turn so I can wear leggings/tights everyday for the next week.