just a stay at home mom

since moving, there have been a few instances where people have asked me what i do for a living. i have always replied: "Oh, I am just a stay at home mom."


just?! JUST?!!!


i can't believe that came out of my mouth. what i really should have done is proudly say, "I am a stay at home mom of two kids & i am amazing"


i have dreamed of being a mom since i was a child, so why do i suddenly feel like i can put my role down?


i had worked part time after having rooney & it was hard, but having a break from my kid was actually really nice, even if i was working. at work my schedule was determined by me, i got to talk to adults, & i never had to share my food. now, i am not saying being a working mom is easy, because IT IS NOT.


but being a stay at home mom is not easy either. & i think people often just assume SAHMs have it simple - play with kids, cook some food, & hang out all day long. hahahahaha that couldn't be further from the truth. i spend all day running around like a chicken with its head cut off. it is not a pretty sight.


i am almost always bra-less around the house, in sweats & a baggy shirt, hair in a pony, no makeup & that's as glam as i get. that does something to your self-esteem. at least i get a shower in everyday, right?


my day consists of constant thoughts of what i need to be doing. for example:


while i am working out, i am thinking about what to make the kids for breakfast. as i am showering, my thoughts go to what is the weather, how do i appropriately dress my kids. then i step out of the shower to ashton who has to run to work and a crying gus. i nurse guster all the while thinking of something fun to do with rooney today when i see a sock on the floor which reminds me that i have laundry in both the washer & dryer. so i fold one load as i try to read rooney a christmas story while gus sleeps. then i am working for my dad so i start that & of course gus wakes up 10 minutes in. he is poopy & they both need a bath, so i take a break to bathe the babies, which is sort of a circus. once they are clean, smell good, & dressed, we head back downstairs. i am holding gus on my lap, reaching out to my computer perched on the couch arm (because little man can literally reach anything & will push off my lap to get to my computer), trying to edit some company names, & asking rooney to hold on because she is obviously ready for lunch, but doesn't know what she wants to eat. she asks me to list off all of her options, but picks ramen, she is always picking ramen these days. i make her some ramen while gus is screaming in his stander. i run between the stove, gus, & my computer - trying to get it all done. i go to get rooney a bowl and realize the dishwasher needs to be unloaded. i put that on my mental "to do" list for later today, get her some ramen as quickly as possible so that i can nurse gus who is so ready for a nap. while i am nursing him, i realize today is the 14th, there is book club tonight & all of the hoops that i want to ship out for christmas need to be in the mail within FIVE days! eventually, gus gets down for nap, rooney shortly follows after frosting a sugar cookie that we made yesterday (legit the best, softest, chewiest cookies & frosting), & i finally eat lunch - which makes me start thinking about what on earth i am going to make for dinner. it's only 12:30.

i need to: unload the dishes, fold more laundry, make my bed/tidy up the room, clean the kitchen (still a flour mess from our cookies yesterday - did i mention they are amazing?! & so worth the mess), go to the post office, finish an 8" hoop that will easily require 6 more hours + so many more little nativity ornaments (& really, i would love to turn hoops&threads into something more, but that also requires more time), make dinner (hopefully leftovers are good with everyone because i need easy), maybe go to book club?, keep my kids entertained, happy, & alive for the rest of the day, & address/stamp/send out all our christmas cards.


sometimes, i get sad thinking about all the things i want to do, but never feel like i will be able to get to because life is so buys right now. & i know, i know, that someday i will miss these days so i really do try to enjoy every single minute of the crazy.


my brain is in a constant state of chaos. i am always multitasking. & i am pretty much exhausted all the time. when ashton gets home from work, i physically, mentally, & emotionally crash. the poor man.


so i am no longer "just" a stay at home mom.


i AM a stay at home mom, i am so blessed to be a SAHM. this has always been my dream!

 & i do so much in one day, even if my house doesn't show it!

me with my little bosses who make all the chaos but also make it overwhelmingly worth it.