( s p i d e r ) stories

we lived in a basement before arkansas (ps! we're in arkansas!)

& with basements, you get spiders. even when your landlord (your fabulous in-laws) sprays regularly. i spent the majority of my husband-less summer without any spider sightings. until the last week or so.

IF YOU DECIDE TO READ ANY OF THESE, stories 1 & 4 are the best.

story 1:

it was midnight (you find your self staying up way past your 10:00 bedtime, plus it is the only time i got me time) & i was climbing into bed. i always turn my phone flashlight on because no husband + dark is very scary. as i was plugging my phone in, my light scanned over something moving in my room --- a big, scary, spider. i grabbed a sandal to take care of the spider, something i would normally never do, because you know, i normally have ashton.

the sneaky spider runs to the corner, where my sandal isn't able to reach him, or her? the corner of the sandal knocks the spider a big & CRAZY TINY LITTLE SPIDERS START TO SCATTER. baby spiders?! you've got to be kidding me.

it was a holiday so i was able to call ashton & not feel too bad about waking him up in the middle of the night. he told me to get the vacuum & we debated about it for awhile because i was worried mama spider & all those babies would disappear. i ran real fast. vacuumed it all up & immediately ran the vacuum outside. all of this while gus slept & stayed asleep.

story 2:

no joke. two days later, i go to pile my pillows on the other side of the bed so i can tuck in for bed. & a spider (bigger than mama and babies) is on a pillow! A SPIDER ON MY BED. ON MY BEDDDD!!! what? this isn't allowed. and it's not somewhere i can just smash it. i couldn't wake ashton up this time, so i called sydney, bless her heart. she told me to get a cup and just capture the spider between the cup and pillow and run the cup outside.

i did it. and thought that i could just tip the spider in the cup & carefully let it out. HA. i tossed the cup and nearly lost the pillow. i threw the cup outside & the pillow on the floor in the kitchen, slammed the door, & ran away. the cup stayed outside for probably a week? i wasn't the one who picked it up either. i think maybe my mom threw it away?

story 3:

about a week went by & i went to get gus' tummy time blanket off the top of a packed up box in my bedroom. i tossed it on my bed while i cleared a spot to lay the pillow. as it hits my bed, i see something scurry under my comforter. NO WAY. in my bed again? but this time, actually in my bed? this can't be possible. at this point, ashton was on the road, heading back to us. i called him and just mostly couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous this was. he called his brother to save me this time. parker confirmed that the spider was huge and successfully got it outside.

story 4: 

this happened in our new house, here in arkansas. as of last night, we had been here for five full days. as we were getting the kids ready for bed, i commented to ashton how we hadn't seen any spiders yet!

obviously, that jinxed it.

last night we were dealing with a throwing up rooney (day #2, no fever, tired, but not lethargic) so ashton decided to just sleep in her room with her. well, we had the washing machine going  (washing rooney's messy bedding) & that has been thor's new bedroom since we don't really have a space for his kennel. the washing machine is real loud so thor was whining to compete with it. i asked ashton if he had any solutions for what was going on because i was struggling to get gus to sleep. he came down and suggested getting the kennel out. he went to the garage to get it & i heard him say, " oh fetch!" & came back in to tell me that there was a giant spider.

this time ashton was with me so i broke into laughter (1. because what are the chances?! 2. i wasn't the one who needed to take care of the situation.) & immediately ran into the garage, hoping to get a view & a picture from a safe distance.

so ashton grabbed our giant jazz cup and a paper plate, hoping to trap this gargantuan spider. i didn't get a picture, because i used my phone flashlight so that ashton could get a good eye on this spider. ps. it was huge. he wasn't lying.

ashton attempts to cover the spider with the cup, but it runs so ashton just slams the cup on the running spider. of course, it hits it, but not covers it. AND! baby spiders begin to scurry. i can't even believe it & begin laughing as i am safely perched on the bumper of my car. ashton ran inside, not laughing, and grabbed the vacuum. he got all the itsy bitsys' & then went after big mama who had snuck back between boxes. he said he could feel her thump through the vacuum & then spotted her in our vacuum chamber.

thinking about it still gives me the heebie-jeebies. ew gross.

& in case you are wondering, rooney hasn't thrown up since 1:00 am this morning, she ate some, drank a little more some, & took two baths today. i think we are finally in the clear! yayyyy.