kindness

I was listening to the radio on my way to work this morning.  Often times they have people text in stories on some scandalous or bizarre topic, but today they were asking for stories on random acts of kindness.  It changed my morning.  There is so much good in the world that we often overlook.  People were excited to send in stories and the hosts were happy to read them.

My family was touched by the many acts of kindness we saw last year.

We also met/heard of many others whose stories touched our hearts.  A few of them were recently in the news.

Though Porter and Lexe were diagnosed with different cancers completely, they started and finished treatment close to the same time and were both diagnosed while attending Alta High School.  I haven't met Lexe, but she has been such an inspiration to me and reading this article reminded me of how amazing she is.  She won her fight and is now preparing to play soccer at the University of Arizona.

When talking about her fight she says, "Getting sick was the hardest thing, but I learned to slow down and focus on what's important, and that's family and faith.  It was difficult, but if I were promised I would get the experiences and blessings I did, I'd do it again."  Amazing right?

Read her article here.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned Zach Sobiech and his song "Clouds".  CNN recently met with Zach.  You can watch that here.  Zach is a hero.  His story melts my heart, makes me want to cry, and brings a smile to my face.

p.s. If you haven't downloaded his song "Clouds", go do it.

my mom

I haven't been the greatest with blogging so far this year...

Somehow, I am more than a week late for my mom's birthday post!

My mom is perfect, just the right mom for me.  She is so much of what I want to become.  

There isn't a rubric telling you the right way to take the news that your son has cancer and then all the trials that follow.  That type of thing only happens in a parent's nightmare, a nightmare that became a reality for my mom and dad.  I will never forget how amazing they were through everything.  They were so strong and such an example to everyone following Porter's story.  Mom stayed with Porter every night.  We all tried to have a turn spending the night, but somehow it always was mom.  She would tell me from time to time that Porter was too embarrassed to admit that he didn't want to be sick with anyone else, that he needed his mom, but I get it.  No one can tickle your back until you fall asleep like mom.  Just having her there makes you feel better.  I also think that mom wanted to spend the night with him more than she let on.

My mom feels a lot with her heart, just like I do.  She hates to see us hurt and sometimes it frustrates her when she can't fix our broken hearts.  She is fiercely loyal to her family.  She has taught us to work hard and supported us in all our goals.  She has always been my cheerleader - even at high school swim meets (quite possibly the most boring spectating event there is).  She is always proud of her kids and always wants to take care of us.  She is selfless, giving everything she has to us.  I don't even think she realizes that she does it anymore.  She loves my students and they love her.

She is my rock - the one I call in every situation.

Once upon a time, I got put on the wait list for the Special Education program at BYU.  I was more than devastated.  I remember opening that letter and just sobbing.  I spent a few hours in the library trying to collect myself.  My poor mom.  I called her pretty much telling her my world was over.  That if I couldn't get into the program I was going to drop out of school because I could just be an aide and work with my kids that way.  She was brokenhearted for me, but knew I needed to pick myself up and keep trying.  She tried to get me to look at other majors that would allow me to work with my students.  I was being stubborn (as usual) and frustrated that she didn't understand - no other program would work.  I told her that she didn't get it and then I could hear her crying, telling me that it was so hard for her to be this far away from me when I was in such pain.  I never wanted a mom hug so bad.

Plus, my mom is hilarious.  My favorite is when she laughs at herself.  She can do the jerk and sometimes gets which is your temple and which is your foreheard switched around.  She supports loves spontaneous dance parties and tries to teach us how to dance before dad does.  She raised us with alien and ghost talk - something I love!  She taught me not to take life too seriously, a lesson I really needed in college.

Mom,

Thank you for your unconditional love.  Thank you for the life lessons you have taught me.  I love that I get to see you whenever I want and never have to go to Target alone.  You are my example.  You get me through all my tough moments, all the heartbreak and stress.  You put up with my "diva" and I am so grateful for that.

I love you with all my heart!

xoxo

happy last chemo

Since April of this year, my blog has mostly been about my brother's battle with bone cancer.  Well...

On December 9, 2012 Porter left Primary Children's for the very last time.

I remember walking into Primary's that Sunday afternoon excited for Porter to come home for good.  I didn't even think about getting emotional.  I was focused on getting Porter and going home.  As we were getting ready to leave, the nurses had him come out into the hall and ring the bell as they sang, "Happy last chemo".  I will never forget the smiles on their faces while they sang.  I have never felt so much happiness.  There is no way for me to express the amount of gratitude that I will forever have for the nurses and doctors who helped my baby brother.  Porter rang that bell as hard as he could and smiled the whole time.

In a few weeks, Porter will go back to high school. Slowly, life is going to get back to normal-ish.  We are still waiting for his hair to grow back and until it does, I will continue to smother his smooth head with kisses and rubs.  He is still working on his prosthetic, but he can get around just fine.  He even talks about snowboarding in the near future.

These last 9 months have been the hardest and the most amazing 9 months of my life.  Like I have said so many times before, I have never been so blessed and felt my Heavenly Father's love so strong.  I have received words of encouragement from friends I haven't talked to since high school.  People who don't even know me and my family have had Porter in their prayers.  Friends and family have looked out and taken care of us.  They have dropped things in their lives to support us.  We have been on the receiving end of the service spectrum all year.  My heart has been touched over and over again.  I have been forever changed by this experience and I am grateful for it.

At the end of all of this, I can truly say that cancer is the worst.  It sucks (I hate that word, but it is the truth). I would never ever wish for anyone to go through the experience of having it or watching a loved one fight it. It breaks my heart when I hear about another person fighting cancer and  I can't help but cry whenever I stumble upon another cancer story.  BUT, if someone is going through that fight, I hope they have an experience similar to ours - where the blessings just pour upon them.  It is amazing how much peace I have felt during all of this.  Life stood still.  An eternal point of view came into focus.  What matters most in life became obvious.  This cancer brought my family together in a way nothing else could.  Cancer has made me a better person.

Syd took this today.  I am so proud of my Porter.  This is probably my favorite post cancer picture and I had to share it.

Clouds

On Sunday, December 9th (exactly 8 months and 3 days from the day he was diagnosed) Porter left Primary Children's Medical Center for the very last time.  It was such a happy day!  The nurses got together and sang "Happy last chemo to you" (in the tune of Happy Birthday) and Porter rang the bell! - Hopefully a post with pictures of this happy day will be posted sometime during Christmas break.

Saturday morning, my dad showed me the song Clouds by Zach Sobiech.

Zach was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in November 2009.  His tumor was found on his left femur and after a few months of chemotherapy they had it removed and his hip replaced.  After surgery, biopsy showed that the chemo had done it's job, the cancer cells had been contained and killed.  But at the end of May, 2012 (9 months after chemo had ended), they found the cancer had returned in his pelvis and lungs.  There are no known  effective treatments at this time.  They have given Zach just months, maybe a year, to live.

Zach's response to all of this is to embrace each day with hope and joy.  His song is catchy and the lyrics are touching.  "And we'll go up, up, up, but I'll fly a little higher." My heart goes out to Zach and his family.  He is an inspiration.  His song has been on repeat for the last few days and I am reminded of how sweet life is.

You can listen to his song over there ------->

And then I am sure you will want to go to iTunes and buy it.

a thankful heart

Thanksgiving is here and words will never adequately express the gratitude I have felt over the course of this year...

So I will attempt to do so through pictures!

I am thankful for:

My family.  I have always loved them, always been supported by them, and always counted them as my best friends.  BUT this year, we have seen just what we can overcome together.  So grateful.

My brother.  My Porter.  I am so amazed by everything this boy does.  He has fought cancer while not only keeping his smile, but continuing to make us smile.  He has lost the bottom part of his right leg, but never let that slow him down.  I am forever grateful for his example.  As of Wednesday morning, he only has one round of chemo left!!!

Friends like these girls.  No matter what happens, I know our relationship will never change.  Plus, we go on fun "boys trips" like our visit to Notre Dame.

My roommates.  I have always lived with girls who I love and these two are no exception.  I love our hallway heart to hearts and hilarious group texts.

  

My default best friend.  I am so lucky that I get to work with Cami!  So lucky that I get to spend almost everyday of my week with her.  Our adventures are unlike any I have had with anyone else.  I am especially grateful that I have her to hold my hand when flights get bumpy.

My classroom.  It is the cutest and is one of my favorite places in the world.  How blessed I am to have a job that I absolutely love.  Grateful for my ladies who help me make my classroom the place of love that it is.  Grateful for each of my students who show me what love is.

My students.  Old and current.  These kids have changed my life.  I am grateful for their influence.  I couldn't love them more.

I am grateful for things I have accomplished this year and friends who have helped me along the way.

 

My grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins.  My heart is full when I think of them and their love and support.

Especially grateful to everyone who has become a part of my life this year and those who have sent prayers and love towards Porter during his fight.

This girl's heart is full.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with people you love.

a wonderful sunday - thankful for my family

This afternoon I had the chance to attend my family ward to hear my dad speak, and as an added bonus, watch Porter sit with the priests for the first time as he broke and blessed the sacrament.

Porter seems to have become the subject of my blog these last 8 or so months.  As I watched him prepare the sacrament I was overcome by the spirit.  This 16 year old boy, my brother, has gone through things that would cause many adults to give up.  Not Porter.  He is as strong and resilient as ever.  Today, I realized how lucky I am to get to watch him turn into such a worthy priesthood holder.  As I was still marveling over the influence he has had on my life, I watched him walk back to our bench.  The whole ward was gleaming.  They have watched Porter fight cancer, undergo surgery, and learn to walk with a prosthetic. I am so proud to be his sister.

Then it was dad's turn to speak.  My dad can bring the spirit to my heart in a way that no one else can.  He spoke of families, like the 2 speakers before him.  He opened by telling us of how he went to search "building family unity" and the auto-generated search engine (not really sure what it is called) brought up "building family unity through giving."  He spent the rest of his talk explaining that family unity can be built not only through serving (giving), but as well as by being on the opposite end of the spectrum and receiving such service.

Through Porter's battle, we have met many other cancer families, families whose fight is much harder than what we are experiencing.  (Please know that I am not saying Porter's experience with cancer has been easy, but we have been extremely blessed.  He has stayed relatively healthy and the chemo did exactly what it was supposed to do by killing all cancer cells in his tumor.)  We have been able to serve these families through giving trees, visits, and attendance at their fundraisers.

Dad told of the visit we recently had with Sofi.  One family night a few weeks ago, we had the opportunity to meet sweet little Sofi and her family. Sofi was born with down syndrome and a very serious heart defect.  They told her family that her condition was terminal.  They spent the first part of her very special life in the hospital.  Then Sofi was diagnosed with leukemia.  The doctors told her parents that with her heart problems, the chemotherapy could kill her and that it would be best to take her home.  As her dad is telling my family this, he gets emotional and tells us that from day one, they knew that they could never give up on Sofi, that they would have to fight for everyday with her.  If I remember correctly, Sofi has now been undergoing cancer treatments for 18 months.  She is only 5 years old.  Her story is remarkable and made for a night that I don't think any of us will forget.

Meet Sofi.  She stole my heart the moment I saw her.

Dad then began to speak of the amazing unity that being served brings.  Our ward, friends, and family have outdone themselves.  As I think about all the prayers we have felt, the blessings that fasts have given us, the hours of time spent creating Porter's fundraiser,  the strength we have felt through others support, the love and charity we have been shown - I am speechless. Dad shared a sweet story that I had never heard before.  One night he stopped by a house full of women putting together baskets for Porter's fundraiser.  He mentioned to one sister in the ward that he felt bad that so many people were giving up so much time for us, for Porter.  That night, he received an email from this sister.  He read parts of it and one part in particular touched my heart.  She said, "I wish we could do this for everyone, but it was meant to be for Porter."  Such sweet words.

What my dad said is true.  My family is proof of the unity that both sides of the "service spectrum" can bring. I have always felt close to my family, but everything that we have gone through has only amplified that feeling.  There is more patience, kinder words, and pure joy when we are all together.  I find myself on sibling dates at least once a week.  In fact, Porter and I have been planning to see the Hobbit on opening night for nearly a month now.  Last week we bought our tickets and it has turned into a family affair.  We can't seem to get enough time together and I love it that way.

Music for Monday

Monday is here...again.  Mondays are the longest day of the week.  I often go to bed Sunday with a little anxiety in my heart, not sure that I am ready for the To Do list back at work.

I can tell you that each day feels different in my classroom.  My students need some time to get back in focus after a weekend.  This often turns Monday into a day of fighting behaviors and reminding students of what our expectations are at school.

So to make Mondays better, I have found a song of the week.I love music, but I don't listen to just any one, two, or three genres.  I will play my crooners and then jump to some hip hop.  I have a weakness for boy bands and my heart melts for Usher, Brian McKnight and the likes.  I appreciate musical geniuses like John Mayer and Jason Mraz (my first real love).  I can't get enough of Tristan Prettyman's unique voice.  I often go back to my high school days with the sounds of Taking Back Sunday and Starting Line.  My latin hips move to anything by Pitbull, my latin heart swoons to the voice of Carlos Gardel and my summer in Mexico introduced me to the Mexican telanovela-turned-pop group RBD.  I must tell you though, you will never find any country music on my blog.

Today, I will introduce you to How the Day Sounds by Greg Laswell.  I heard this song a few weeks ago with my mom at TJ Maxx (so thank you TJ Maxx!).  It wasn't loud enough for me to Shazam the song so I stood under a speaker and tried to write down anything I could hear.  Luckily, that was enough for me to pull up the lyrics.  It is a feel good song that is perfect for any Monday.  You can find it on my Music for Monday playlist just to the right of this post.