mother's day

This Mother's Day is one I will never forget as it is my first one as a mother.

In 2010, I gave a talk that started like this:

"Good afternoon brothers and sisters.  I have a not so common confession...I love babies.  I am sure I have a bad case of being baby hungry.  Cute boy on the right, chubby little baby on the left...the baby always wins.  I can sit for hours and play with kids.  I blame this on the fact that I was the oldest of 5 children and quickly became mommy's little helper.

Now, in all seriousness, I really have always dreamed of being a mom. I think that dream is fairly normal for all girls.  We want to have our own families, to have children that we can love and teach.   Brother Frazier asked to me to speak almost a month ago on...are you ready? “The Mother I am Going to Be.”  Pretty heavy right?  Almost comical even, coming from a 21 year old, single, college graduate to a large group of fellow single peers.  I have thought about how to attack this topic almost everyday.  But who wants to hear about the mom that Tati wants to be?  Who really cares except for the lucky man who will someday sweep me off my feet and my absolutely adorable future children. Now with that said, I am going to talk to you about the qualities that all of us want to posses when it comes to be our turn to raise our own families."

(I am still surprised I didn't get a single date from a talk as awesome as that one. Though, I have heard from a few people that they still remember it.)

I have dreamed of being a mom for as long as I can remember and here I am now, writing this post with one hand as my other arm is cradling a nursing Rooney. Roo is more than I could have imagined. I have never loved so completely. The minute I heard her cry, my life changed forever. She became my life. In the last seven and a half weeks she has taught me so much - about love, gratitude, the importance of sleep, and so much more! Life with a newborn hasn't been easy, but it is beyond worth it.

Mothers come in all forms. Mothers and grandmas being the obvious ones, but aunts, friends, teachers, neighbors, and so many others we look to as role models. 

I also want to acknowledge the mothers who find Mother's Day as a reminder of what they have lost. I remember the mother's day after my first miscarriages - it was just a reminder of what I lost. When I was about 33 weeks pregnant with Rooney, one of my closest friends was 30 weeks pregnant and lost her sweet baby girl, Eloise. Just a few weeks before, we had been together, celebrating our friendship and the adventures we were going to share as mothers. I look up to Melanie and her strength and love so much. She has created a touching blog about her experiences and she has given me permission to share it. I am so grateful to have Mel in my life.

i love the pictures we got of our babes together. i have no doubt that they are special friends.

A huge part of my heart is dedicated to those mothers who have lost a child. The minute you find out you are pregnant, you become a mother. In that instant, you look at the world differently. Having that child taken away from you, whether it be during pregnancy or later in life, is unbearable. As I have mentioned before, I have a post that I continue to add as I collect articles and posts that helped me through my miscarriages. Someday I will organize those thoughts.

I feel like I should end this post now, but I still have so much to say!

I want to thank my mom! She has taught me everything I know about being a mom. She truly lives her life for her husband, five children, and two absolutely perfectly adorable grandchildren. She is patient, selfless, and full of love. I hate doing things alone. For example, while I was at BYU, I would call mom as I walked to campus. Now that I live with her, she comes with me to run errands, hike, and see movies. I will continue to spend all my time with her in hopes that more and more of her rubs off on me.

Thank you to my mother-in-law. She is one of the happiest people I have ever met. She is always smiling and has taught her boys to laugh often. She is always up for games and never hesitates about DQ runs. I am constantly amazed with the man she raised - because of her, Ashton is my dream man.

Rooney is lucky to have such fantastic women as examples in her life.

// And I have to thank Ashton, my husband who absolutely spoiled me this weekend. It started with a fitbit on Friday and I just thought he was the greatest. Then Saturday morning, I wake up to feed Roo and sitting on my rocking chair I find new running shoes and workout outfits! I have been complaining about this baby weight for weeks now and he knew just what type of motivation I needed. But the best, most wonderful gift was how he took care of me today. As we were getting ready to head up to Centerville, my vision started to get spotty. I was determined to spend time with family, but he knows me too well and didn't want me to be miserable and sick and not in my bed. Within half an hour, I had a full blown migraine. Ashton helped me to our room and hung blankets to black out all of our windows. He then took Rooney and let me recover, checking in on me every so often. I am so lucky to have a man so willing to fight my stubbornness and know exactly what I need. \\

I am so grateful to be Ashton's wife and Rooney's mother.

Happy Mother's Day!