is this real life?

i called the specialist yesterday, set up an appointment, & went on my way.


then, i was driving home from mutual & it hit me. this has become my life.


i remember after my second miscarriage, i called my doctor's office to schedule some tests that she had suggested. when i spoke to the nurse she said something along the lines of infertility tests. i didn't know how to respond. "no" was my first thought. fertility isn't my issue. i was going to be the mom with 5 happy kids, all spaced a wonderful two years apart. this was just a hiccup that we were going to fix.


i have thought about that moment a lot. how naive i was - thinking i was invincible & that my life was going to turn out exactly how i had it planned. ha.


so, the next journey for us includes praying to carry a baby full term & hoping ashton gets his dream job in air traffic control.


more on ashton & atc. they opened up the bid (finally) & he made it through to the next round. now we just wait to find out when and where he needs to take the aptitude test.


this whole journey to air traffic control has been unreal (read: ridiculous, unfair, a joke...). talking about it boils my blood, which is why i usually let ashton tell people about how lame it is.


anyways, we have been feeling really good about this round & have been saying lots of prayers that ashton's dream job finally becomes a reality!