world cancer day

2014 is off to a roller coaster of a start. My brain has been overflowing with so many thoughts, stories, and ideas that I think the idea of getting them out seems more overwhelming than just letting them bounce around in my brain.

I woke up this morning and saw on instagram that the marrow transplant of a sweet girl in Utah has worked! The tests have come back and there are no signs of cancer! What a blessing and a sure way to start your day with the happiest of tears.

I also realized that today was World Cancer Day.  I feel like a lot of my blog has been surrounded by cancer the last two years, and I thought to say sorry, but I won't because cancer has become a part of me.

I think of those 9 months where Primary Children's became a second home for my family.  I think of my perfect, sweet brother whose life is forever changed. I see all the things Porter has continued to do, never letting his prosthetic keep him from enjoying life. Those 9 months were more than hard, and I can't even imagine what it was like for Porter, but they are also full of memories that still make my heart burst in gratitude and love.

And then I remember how blessed and lucky we are to have him still when so many have lost loved ones. When I learn that a friend of mine has lost a loved one to cancer, or I meet someone who has fought through cancer, my eyes fill with tears. While I know I have always been sensitive, cancer brought my heart to a whole new level of sympathy.

Since we met lots of kids while Porter was going through treatment, I talk a lot of childhood cancer, but my family has been touched by melanoma as well. CNN had an article this morning stating that cancer rates are expected to raise dramatically.  They even said that W.H.O. predicts "imminent human disaster." 50% of cancer cases can be prevented , 90% of cancers are curable if caught in stage 1.  Watch for signs and symptoms. Be aware! Check out these myths, I found them very helpful.

"Clouds" Choir

Last night, Ashton and I went to the Mall of America and sang in the "Clouds" Choir.  This was something I had been looking forward to for at least three weeks.

The "Clouds" Choir shirts.

I have mentioned Zach Sobiech a few times before, the first time being almost exactly a year ago.  His song has touched my heart and has left an impact on the hearts of all who have listened to it.

Cancer does has this strange way of bonding you to anyone else who has come in contact with it.  I never met Zach, but I feel like I knew him.  As I watched his parents talk with reporters and then address the crowd of 5,000, I so badly wanted to hug them.  For nearly all of 2012, I felt a small portion of the pain they live with everyday.  I watched my baby brother fight for his life and I am thankful everyday that he was able to make it out strong.  I am thankful that my brother, as of December 9th, will have been cancer free for one entire year.  The Sobiech's didn't get to see that with their Zach and it breaks my heart.

There were so many people there.         I will forever and always be Porter strong.

So my voice (and tears) joined in with thousands of others as we sang for Zach.

I fell down, down, down

Into this dark and lonely hole

There was no one there to care about me anymore

And I needed a way to climb and grab a hold of the edge

You were sitting there holding a rope

And we'll go up, up, up

But I'll fly a little higher

Go up in the clouds because the view's a little nicer

Up here, my dear

It won't be long now, it won't be long now

When we get back on land

Well I'll never get my chance

Be ready to live and it'll be ripped right out my hands

And maybe someday we'll take a little ride

Go up, up, up and everything will be just fine

We'll go up, up, up

But I'll fly a little higher

Go up in the clouds because the view's a little nicer

Up here, my dear

It won't be long now, it won't be long now

If only, I had a little bit more time

If only, I had a little bit more time with you

We could go up, up, up

Then take that little ride

We'll site there holdin' hands

And everything will be just right

And maybe someday I'll see you again

We'll float up in the clouds and we'll never see the end

We'll go up, up, up

But I'll fly a little higher

Go up in the clouds because the view's a little nice

Up here, my dear

It won't be long now, it won't be long now

The official video from KS95 can be watched here.

My video is here.  I apologize for how shaky it is. 1. I was very emotional. 2.  We were three stories up and I am terrified of heights.

Buzzfeed did an very neat article about the event and that is here.

Being there was truly special.  I wish I had recorded our first "practice" round of singing because it was my favorite one.  After we sang it the first time, I think even the radio hosts who were putting on the whole event were in awe at how emotional and beautiful it sounded.

Porter is just 3 days away from being cancer free and every day I am reminded how blessed we are to still have him, that he is strong, that he has adjusted to life as an amputee, that he smiles a lot, that he drives, that he has a job, that he is halfway through his senior year, that he is preparing for a mission, that he is living life like any 17 year old boy should.  Those 9 tough months we spent at the hospital seem like so long ago, but my life will never be the same because of them.

Childhood Cancer Awareness

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month.

April 29, 2012 - a few weeks after he was diagnosed.  Just a few chemo's in.  His hair was just starting to fall out.

I haven't said much about cancer for awhile, but it is still something I think about very often.

For those of you who don't know, my brother was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer last year - Ewings Sarcoma.  April 6, 2012 was a day we will never forget.  Even now, as I think about that Friday, it is hard for me not to cry.  But, as terrible, as hard, as horrible, as scary as that experience was, my brother has officially been in remission for about 9 months now and we are so blessed for that.  That year took so much from us, especially from Porter, but it also gave us so much perspective, blessings, and time together.

 I loved the night's Porter would let me stay with him at the hospital.  We would order pizza from The Pie and play Call of Duty (I was terrible - he would fall asleep mid game and I still couldn't win)

Syd's high school graduation.  Porter and the sisters.  Lots and lots of love.

Porter still doesn't like talking about it and has given me a few stern talkings to, because I talk about it more than he likes, but I think that is pretty typical of a teenage boy.  Someday, I will be really interested to see what he has to say about that experience.

 Pre-amputation

Getting used to life with a prosthetic.

More on childhood cancer:

There is so much in the world of childhood cancer that I didn't realize until Porter had to fight it.

Did you know that the American Cancer Society donates less than a penny for ever dollar donated to childhood cancer research?  That number is far too low and makes my heart hurt.  I was blown away with how many kids we met in 2012 who were undergoing treatment for cancer.

The finger prick is always the worst part, but totally worth it.  Saving lives.

I found this site with a list of childhood cancer facts.  What an eye opener.

Anyway, there are lots ways to give.  Today, Ashton and I donated blood.  I used to think people were always donating blood and I didn't really need to.  Then there were days when Porter had to go get blood transfusions and I realized how much it was needed.  We went to Chili's after we donated blood.  Chili's has an awesome fundraiser happening THIS Monday.  100% of their profits will be going to St. Jude and the fight against childhood cancer.  So, eat at Chili's on Monday.  You can attend fundraisers for these children.  Porter's was put together by Anything For a Friend.  They do fundraisers for cancer patients of all ages.  You can always start there.

My brother - the most amazing kid I know who has become an inspiration to so many.  xoxo

Princess Millie

Today my heart has been heavy.

I found out this morning that little miss Millie Flamm passed away.

I am at a loss of words.  She was perfect in every way.  She fought cancer like a princess.  She made Porter smile when he didn't have much to smile about.  In fact, she made all of us smile.  Millie had your heart the minute you met her.

On Christmas Eve, my family and I went up to Primary's to wish Porter's cancer friends a Merry Christmas.  I will never forget how excited Millie was to receive a simple stuffed animal from us.  She squealed.  She hugged it.  She smiled.  She thanked us.  What a sweet memory.

Then there was that time when she was supposed to go to the Justin Bieber concert, but couldn't and nearly all of Utah reached out to Justin, asking him to visit her.  And he did.  And I will forever love him for it.

This is what my dad posted on facebook this morning, so I apologize to those who have already read it, but I have to share.

"We're sad to report that our little friend, Millie, passed away this morning. You may remember Millie from the news stories when Justin Bieber delayed his SLC concert to visit her in the hospital (she had tickets for the concert, but sadly she relapsed and could not attend). She was an amazing little girl who had the whole Thorkelson family wrapped around her little finger. We are deeply saddened at the news of her passing. 

Saturday, June 29 there is a 5k in her honor and to raise funds and awareness for childhood cancers. Details can be found at www.milliesprincessrun.org. We encourage all Utah friends and family to join us. Sign up before June 22. Last year it sold out, so hurry.

Lastly, we share the video her family made a few months back. What a beautiful little girl and family! I believe in a loving Father in Heaven who has the power to make all things right in this world, and the next. I know Millie and her family will once again be reunited. http://youtu.be/RROMOL-BxRk"

I am so grateful for the example Millie was to all of us in her short life.  She fought with grace and a smile.  I wish I was in Utah to run for her on the 29th - so if you are in the Salt Lake are, go run it for me.

Her family was unbelievably strong and spent more time at Primary's than we could ever imagine.  When we went on Christmas Eve, they were all there with a little Christmas tree up on the window ledge.  I can't imagine how hard Christmas in the hospital must be.  My heart hurts for them.  I hope they know how much we look up to them, what an example they have been and continue to be, and that our thoughts and prayers are with them.

Cancer sucks.

AF Half

Today was the American Fork Canyon Half Marathon.

I ran it last year and still get emotional while thinking about it.  It was quite the experience, one I will never forget.  I ran it for Porter, who was in the thick of his fight against cancer at this time.  The first "run for..." sign that we saw along the trail was for him.

I am grateful for that run.  Grateful for those who ran it today.  Grateful for those who run for their loved ones fighting cancer.  This beautiful run donates all its proceeds to cancer patients in our community.

 I am grateful for Spencer who ran with me.  Grateful for friends and family who supported me and my family for those long 9 months and continue to do so even now.

This morning, I got a text from one of my aides who was running it saying, "Look who I met!"  Then I got this picture.

I missed home instantly.  My aunt Michelle is on the left and DJ is on the right.  Michelle does everything for her nieces and nephews.  I had no idea that she was running today and I wish I was running with her.  I spent a good part of this year watching DJ transform.  She has worked so hard and today ran a half marathon!  I couldn't be more proud of them and I wish I was there to cheer them on!

This run will forever mean so much to me and I hope that maybe next year I can be there again.  My life has forever been changed by Porter's battle.  It is something that still hurts when I think about it.  How lucky we are to still have my handsome brother with us when so many aren't as fortunate.  No matter how cancer touches your life, it changes it entirely.

I am grateful for my Porter.  Who turns 17 in 6 days.  Completely cancer-free and getting ready for his last year of high school.

I am feeling homesick for the first time since we moved to Minnesota (a whole two weeks now).  Good thing Ashton is totally worth it.  Love love love.

***I  must confess that I haven't ran more then 5 miles since my go at the half last year.  I don't know how I did it, but I have a feeling it was probably all thanks to my Porter Strong bracelet.

kindness

I was listening to the radio on my way to work this morning.  Often times they have people text in stories on some scandalous or bizarre topic, but today they were asking for stories on random acts of kindness.  It changed my morning.  There is so much good in the world that we often overlook.  People were excited to send in stories and the hosts were happy to read them.

My family was touched by the many acts of kindness we saw last year.

We also met/heard of many others whose stories touched our hearts.  A few of them were recently in the news.

Though Porter and Lexe were diagnosed with different cancers completely, they started and finished treatment close to the same time and were both diagnosed while attending Alta High School.  I haven't met Lexe, but she has been such an inspiration to me and reading this article reminded me of how amazing she is.  She won her fight and is now preparing to play soccer at the University of Arizona.

When talking about her fight she says, "Getting sick was the hardest thing, but I learned to slow down and focus on what's important, and that's family and faith.  It was difficult, but if I were promised I would get the experiences and blessings I did, I'd do it again."  Amazing right?

Read her article here.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned Zach Sobiech and his song "Clouds".  CNN recently met with Zach.  You can watch that here.  Zach is a hero.  His story melts my heart, makes me want to cry, and brings a smile to my face.

p.s. If you haven't downloaded his song "Clouds", go do it.

my mom

I haven't been the greatest with blogging so far this year...

Somehow, I am more than a week late for my mom's birthday post!

My mom is perfect, just the right mom for me.  She is so much of what I want to become.  

There isn't a rubric telling you the right way to take the news that your son has cancer and then all the trials that follow.  That type of thing only happens in a parent's nightmare, a nightmare that became a reality for my mom and dad.  I will never forget how amazing they were through everything.  They were so strong and such an example to everyone following Porter's story.  Mom stayed with Porter every night.  We all tried to have a turn spending the night, but somehow it always was mom.  She would tell me from time to time that Porter was too embarrassed to admit that he didn't want to be sick with anyone else, that he needed his mom, but I get it.  No one can tickle your back until you fall asleep like mom.  Just having her there makes you feel better.  I also think that mom wanted to spend the night with him more than she let on.

My mom feels a lot with her heart, just like I do.  She hates to see us hurt and sometimes it frustrates her when she can't fix our broken hearts.  She is fiercely loyal to her family.  She has taught us to work hard and supported us in all our goals.  She has always been my cheerleader - even at high school swim meets (quite possibly the most boring spectating event there is).  She is always proud of her kids and always wants to take care of us.  She is selfless, giving everything she has to us.  I don't even think she realizes that she does it anymore.  She loves my students and they love her.

She is my rock - the one I call in every situation.

Once upon a time, I got put on the wait list for the Special Education program at BYU.  I was more than devastated.  I remember opening that letter and just sobbing.  I spent a few hours in the library trying to collect myself.  My poor mom.  I called her pretty much telling her my world was over.  That if I couldn't get into the program I was going to drop out of school because I could just be an aide and work with my kids that way.  She was brokenhearted for me, but knew I needed to pick myself up and keep trying.  She tried to get me to look at other majors that would allow me to work with my students.  I was being stubborn (as usual) and frustrated that she didn't understand - no other program would work.  I told her that she didn't get it and then I could hear her crying, telling me that it was so hard for her to be this far away from me when I was in such pain.  I never wanted a mom hug so bad.

Plus, my mom is hilarious.  My favorite is when she laughs at herself.  She can do the jerk and sometimes gets which is your temple and which is your foreheard switched around.  She supports loves spontaneous dance parties and tries to teach us how to dance before dad does.  She raised us with alien and ghost talk - something I love!  She taught me not to take life too seriously, a lesson I really needed in college.

Mom,

Thank you for your unconditional love.  Thank you for the life lessons you have taught me.  I love that I get to see you whenever I want and never have to go to Target alone.  You are my example.  You get me through all my tough moments, all the heartbreak and stress.  You put up with my "diva" and I am so grateful for that.

I love you with all my heart!

xoxo

happy last chemo

Since April of this year, my blog has mostly been about my brother's battle with bone cancer.  Well...

On December 9, 2012 Porter left Primary Children's for the very last time.

I remember walking into Primary's that Sunday afternoon excited for Porter to come home for good.  I didn't even think about getting emotional.  I was focused on getting Porter and going home.  As we were getting ready to leave, the nurses had him come out into the hall and ring the bell as they sang, "Happy last chemo".  I will never forget the smiles on their faces while they sang.  I have never felt so much happiness.  There is no way for me to express the amount of gratitude that I will forever have for the nurses and doctors who helped my baby brother.  Porter rang that bell as hard as he could and smiled the whole time.

In a few weeks, Porter will go back to high school. Slowly, life is going to get back to normal-ish.  We are still waiting for his hair to grow back and until it does, I will continue to smother his smooth head with kisses and rubs.  He is still working on his prosthetic, but he can get around just fine.  He even talks about snowboarding in the near future.

These last 9 months have been the hardest and the most amazing 9 months of my life.  Like I have said so many times before, I have never been so blessed and felt my Heavenly Father's love so strong.  I have received words of encouragement from friends I haven't talked to since high school.  People who don't even know me and my family have had Porter in their prayers.  Friends and family have looked out and taken care of us.  They have dropped things in their lives to support us.  We have been on the receiving end of the service spectrum all year.  My heart has been touched over and over again.  I have been forever changed by this experience and I am grateful for it.

At the end of all of this, I can truly say that cancer is the worst.  It sucks (I hate that word, but it is the truth). I would never ever wish for anyone to go through the experience of having it or watching a loved one fight it. It breaks my heart when I hear about another person fighting cancer and  I can't help but cry whenever I stumble upon another cancer story.  BUT, if someone is going through that fight, I hope they have an experience similar to ours - where the blessings just pour upon them.  It is amazing how much peace I have felt during all of this.  Life stood still.  An eternal point of view came into focus.  What matters most in life became obvious.  This cancer brought my family together in a way nothing else could.  Cancer has made me a better person.

Syd took this today.  I am so proud of my Porter.  This is probably my favorite post cancer picture and I had to share it.

Clouds

On Sunday, December 9th (exactly 8 months and 3 days from the day he was diagnosed) Porter left Primary Children's Medical Center for the very last time.  It was such a happy day!  The nurses got together and sang "Happy last chemo to you" (in the tune of Happy Birthday) and Porter rang the bell! - Hopefully a post with pictures of this happy day will be posted sometime during Christmas break.

Saturday morning, my dad showed me the song Clouds by Zach Sobiech.

Zach was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in November 2009.  His tumor was found on his left femur and after a few months of chemotherapy they had it removed and his hip replaced.  After surgery, biopsy showed that the chemo had done it's job, the cancer cells had been contained and killed.  But at the end of May, 2012 (9 months after chemo had ended), they found the cancer had returned in his pelvis and lungs.  There are no known  effective treatments at this time.  They have given Zach just months, maybe a year, to live.

Zach's response to all of this is to embrace each day with hope and joy.  His song is catchy and the lyrics are touching.  "And we'll go up, up, up, but I'll fly a little higher." My heart goes out to Zach and his family.  He is an inspiration.  His song has been on repeat for the last few days and I am reminded of how sweet life is.

You can listen to his song over there ------->

And then I am sure you will want to go to iTunes and buy it.

a thankful heart

Thanksgiving is here and words will never adequately express the gratitude I have felt over the course of this year...

So I will attempt to do so through pictures!

I am thankful for:

My family.  I have always loved them, always been supported by them, and always counted them as my best friends.  BUT this year, we have seen just what we can overcome together.  So grateful.

My brother.  My Porter.  I am so amazed by everything this boy does.  He has fought cancer while not only keeping his smile, but continuing to make us smile.  He has lost the bottom part of his right leg, but never let that slow him down.  I am forever grateful for his example.  As of Wednesday morning, he only has one round of chemo left!!!

Friends like these girls.  No matter what happens, I know our relationship will never change.  Plus, we go on fun "boys trips" like our visit to Notre Dame.

My roommates.  I have always lived with girls who I love and these two are no exception.  I love our hallway heart to hearts and hilarious group texts.

  

My default best friend.  I am so lucky that I get to work with Cami!  So lucky that I get to spend almost everyday of my week with her.  Our adventures are unlike any I have had with anyone else.  I am especially grateful that I have her to hold my hand when flights get bumpy.

My classroom.  It is the cutest and is one of my favorite places in the world.  How blessed I am to have a job that I absolutely love.  Grateful for my ladies who help me make my classroom the place of love that it is.  Grateful for each of my students who show me what love is.

My students.  Old and current.  These kids have changed my life.  I am grateful for their influence.  I couldn't love them more.

I am grateful for things I have accomplished this year and friends who have helped me along the way.

 

My grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins.  My heart is full when I think of them and their love and support.

Especially grateful to everyone who has become a part of my life this year and those who have sent prayers and love towards Porter during his fight.

This girl's heart is full.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with people you love.

a wonderful sunday - thankful for my family

This afternoon I had the chance to attend my family ward to hear my dad speak, and as an added bonus, watch Porter sit with the priests for the first time as he broke and blessed the sacrament.

Porter seems to have become the subject of my blog these last 8 or so months.  As I watched him prepare the sacrament I was overcome by the spirit.  This 16 year old boy, my brother, has gone through things that would cause many adults to give up.  Not Porter.  He is as strong and resilient as ever.  Today, I realized how lucky I am to get to watch him turn into such a worthy priesthood holder.  As I was still marveling over the influence he has had on my life, I watched him walk back to our bench.  The whole ward was gleaming.  They have watched Porter fight cancer, undergo surgery, and learn to walk with a prosthetic. I am so proud to be his sister.

Then it was dad's turn to speak.  My dad can bring the spirit to my heart in a way that no one else can.  He spoke of families, like the 2 speakers before him.  He opened by telling us of how he went to search "building family unity" and the auto-generated search engine (not really sure what it is called) brought up "building family unity through giving."  He spent the rest of his talk explaining that family unity can be built not only through serving (giving), but as well as by being on the opposite end of the spectrum and receiving such service.

Through Porter's battle, we have met many other cancer families, families whose fight is much harder than what we are experiencing.  (Please know that I am not saying Porter's experience with cancer has been easy, but we have been extremely blessed.  He has stayed relatively healthy and the chemo did exactly what it was supposed to do by killing all cancer cells in his tumor.)  We have been able to serve these families through giving trees, visits, and attendance at their fundraisers.

Dad told of the visit we recently had with Sofi.  One family night a few weeks ago, we had the opportunity to meet sweet little Sofi and her family. Sofi was born with down syndrome and a very serious heart defect.  They told her family that her condition was terminal.  They spent the first part of her very special life in the hospital.  Then Sofi was diagnosed with leukemia.  The doctors told her parents that with her heart problems, the chemotherapy could kill her and that it would be best to take her home.  As her dad is telling my family this, he gets emotional and tells us that from day one, they knew that they could never give up on Sofi, that they would have to fight for everyday with her.  If I remember correctly, Sofi has now been undergoing cancer treatments for 18 months.  She is only 5 years old.  Her story is remarkable and made for a night that I don't think any of us will forget.

Meet Sofi.  She stole my heart the moment I saw her.

Dad then began to speak of the amazing unity that being served brings.  Our ward, friends, and family have outdone themselves.  As I think about all the prayers we have felt, the blessings that fasts have given us, the hours of time spent creating Porter's fundraiser,  the strength we have felt through others support, the love and charity we have been shown - I am speechless. Dad shared a sweet story that I had never heard before.  One night he stopped by a house full of women putting together baskets for Porter's fundraiser.  He mentioned to one sister in the ward that he felt bad that so many people were giving up so much time for us, for Porter.  That night, he received an email from this sister.  He read parts of it and one part in particular touched my heart.  She said, "I wish we could do this for everyone, but it was meant to be for Porter."  Such sweet words.

What my dad said is true.  My family is proof of the unity that both sides of the "service spectrum" can bring. I have always felt close to my family, but everything that we have gone through has only amplified that feeling.  There is more patience, kinder words, and pure joy when we are all together.  I find myself on sibling dates at least once a week.  In fact, Porter and I have been planning to see the Hobbit on opening night for nearly a month now.  Last week we bought our tickets and it has turned into a family affair.  We can't seem to get enough time together and I love it that way.

Hunter's fight

Cancer brings miracles and blessings...

but it also brings more heartache and tragedy than you can imagine.

I hear stories of other young children going through their battles and all I can think is that my family doesn't even know what hard is.  Yes, my brother lost part of his leg, but yesterday he got his prosthetic (which he is doing so well on!) and come 2013, cancer will be a fight we won.

 Warning:  This post has been written through tears.

Last night, Porter's cancer buddy, Tristan, had a post on his fb page that broke my heart and has left me on practically in tears all day.  He tells of his friend Hunter.  I have not met Hunter, but if I saw him today, all I would be able to do is hug him.  Like Porter, he has been in and out of Primary's trying to fight Leukemia.  This is Hunter's story from Tristan's post:

"...Our dear cancer buddy Hunter just got done with a bone marrow transplant because of a relapse.  While he was still in ICS recovering his mother suddenly passed away from a heart attack.  That was on September 18th.  Today they learned Hunter's cancer has returned a second time and that tehre is nothing they can do for him.  They told his father, who just lost his wife two weeks ago and a baby girls 12 years ago that they needed to take his son back to Wyoming and make him comfortable for his last days here on this earth.  Hunter is nine years old.  He gets it.  He is still mourning the loss of his beloved mother and now learned he will soon join her.

I am asking for you to please send Hunter a card.  I want to flood his home with uplifting cards so he knows that we care.  Please make them happy and uplifting.  He is nine years old and loves legos and nerf guns.  He also has an 11 year old brother (his only sibling) that I am sure could use some kind words and love as well.  Please send them to:

3800 Sunset Drive #17
Rock Springs, Wyoming 82901"

Another blog about a littler girl named Cami who just finished her fight with cancer, posted a few of Hunter's journal entries.  I thought those were particularly moving.  They are:

Bad Week

Written Sep 29, 2012 3:43pm

My dad will help me keep this updated for everyone, as many people know I lost my mom, she went back to live in Heaven on Sept 18th, and on Sept 27th my dad and I found out that my Bone Marrow Transplant didn't destroy the cancer and it is back. I have to go back to the hospital on Oct 2nd and we will discuss what needs to be done to make me better. We hope and pray that there are better days ahead. 

 

Busy Week

Written Oct 3, 2012 12:55pm

Hello everyone, thank you for looking me up on my page. I love the support and love. I went to the doctor yesterday and I found out that my cancer has progressed to the point that it is no longer treatable. It hurt me to know that I may not live to be old and experience what my dad and mom did. I was scared until I had a really good talk with my dad. I know that my mom will be there to get me, but not until I have had my fun here first. I have so many things I want to do with my brother and my dad. My Make a Wish has being started and I will be going on my Disney Cruise, I am so excited. Dad is going to take me fishing this weekend if the weather is good. I haven't been fishing for a very ling time and I can't wait. I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me but I hope he will grant me some extra time to do all the things I want to do. Thats all for now, thank you.

 

*You can read Cami's post about Hunter here.

 

 

To be so strong at only 9 years old.  To have to face trials that grown adults struggle to make it through.  To stay so positive.  I can't imagine how hard his fight has been.  He is a shining light, a boy who inspires me.  I would like to join Tristan, Cami, and their families, by encouraging all of you to send him your love.  Please remember his dad, Phil, as well as his brother, Buster, in the words you send their way.

Again, their address is:

3800 Sunset Drive #17
Rock Springs, Wyoming 82901

Porter strong.

My heart is about to explode!  I will never be able to express how much love and gratitude I have felt over the last 6.

When Porter was diagnosed, the love came pouring in.  People from our community, ward, past wards, friends, and family were instantly by our side.  None of us have spent any of the last few months fighting alone.  

Almost instantly after Porter was diagnosed, a group of people got together with Anything For A Friend and started planning Porter's fundraiser.  On Saturday, that fundraiser happened and it was one of the most wonderful events I have ever been to.  It was overwhelming to see how many people came!  All of it was so well organized and beautifully put together.  It was amazing as my family was able to come in and simply enjoy the whole thing (even through our tears of love and joy). People who didn't know my brother came.  People who didn't even know my family came!  Friends from southern California made their way up to run with Porter.  I had FIVE students (past and present) come to support us.  It fills my heart with so much love.

I have a sweet story I have to tell.  As I have mentioned many times before - I love my job. In fact, I don't think that quite says it right.  I LOVE my job is more like it.  My first year of teaching was a dream come true.  That was when I met my Alex.  He still is an answer to many of my prayers.  When I am with him, I can feel my Savior.  I have no doubt that he has a very close, very real relationship with Christ.  He is an example to me of pure innocent Christlike love.  I could go on and on and on and on about this sweet boy.  He came to the fundraiser and surprised me.  Our reunion was priceless.  He giggled and screamed my name as he ran to me.  I held him and didn't want to let go.  He started asking me about Porter and I showed him a picture.  It was a picture of Porter when we went to BYU's practice.  He had his cast on.  Alex asked me Porter was hurt.  I told Alex that Porter had been very sick and that they had to remove part of his leg so that he could get better.  Alex looked at me with sad eyes and simply said, "oh...ouch."  Later, Alex saw Porter and walked right up to him and gave him a hug.  Two of my favorite boys became more than just friends.  Alex became a part of my family.  Thank you Kira, Bob, and Janae for bringing Alex and being a part of my heart.  I love you all so much.

The event opened with a 5k.  I can't explain what it felt like to see hundreds of people out running along Highland Drive for my brother.  Kelsey and I were able to push a student from my school in his wheel chair for the whole run!  That was a very good time - especially up the hill.  He sure loved it.  We tried to keep up with Porter and the big buff men who were pushing him, but that didn't happen!  Porter crossed that finish line well before we did!

Then it was time for food, fun, auctions, friends and family.  We were surrounded by people who were there for one reason - my brother.

I was especially touched by two families I met that day.  They were smiling and more than excited to help.  They looked at Porter with love and empathy.  Both of them have recently lost boys to cancer.  I think of them and my heart breaks.  We are constantly reminded how blessed we are to get to know so many wonderful people through Porter's fight.  To those two families - you will forever be a part of our lives.  I can't thank you enough for your sweet examples.

I don't think I can even begin listing everyone who helped with the fundraiser.  I want to thank each of you.  Everyone who put in hours of preparation.  Everyone who came and donated.  Everyone who couldn't make it, but donated anyway.  I want to thank all of you who have supported my family, especially Porter.

I want to tell Porter how proud I am of him.  I know that all my sisters would agree with me when I say that we are the luckiest and that he is the greatest brother in the world.  He has been such an example to us through all of this.  I love you my Poroto!!!

*** I just found out that over $55,000 was raised on Saturday.  Again, I am moved to tears.  I wish there were more words to express how thankful I am.  Like my dad said on Saturday, when we say thank you, we are really saying we love you. 

Today

Today is big day for my family.


Today, my parents have been married for 25 years.  They are the couple I want to someday be.  They love each other and all of us kids have always known it.  They hold hands.  Sometimes they even kiss in front of us!  They have made it through ups and downs - today being both an up and down as their son loses his right leg below his knee/hopefully becomes completely cancer free!  My parents are my best friends.  I thought I had grown all independent while I was at BYU (though I talked to my mom on the phone everyday), but then they moved to Utah and I realized how much I just wanted to be around them.

Today, my brother will become a below the knee amputee, but also cancer free!!!  We are in the same waiting room that we sat in 4 months and 1 day ago.  The emotions and feelings of that day were unsure, fearful, sad...needless to say, it was a tough tough day.  Those emotions aren't here now.  A few tears have been shed, but there is peace around us.  There is laughing, smiling, and warmth.  There is confidence that everything is going to work out.

 He is so strong!



Thank you to everyone whose thoughts and prayers are with my family, especially with Porter.  We have felt every one of them.

13.1

That's right. I just ran 13.1 miles in the American Fork Canyon Half Marathon.

I have never had any desire to run.  Nope.  Didn't think I would ever do it.  AND I always laugh at the people with the 13.1 or 26.2 stickers on their cars.  Great, you're super athletic and you can run long distances!  BUT now I get it!  I want to sport a 13.1 decal because I did it!

Ok, so here is how the run came to be:

Kelsey sends me a message on Facebook back in March saying we should do a half marathon.  It was a great even to raise money for those who are fighting cancer.  I said yes, but nothing really came of it and the race filled up.  Then, Porter was diagnosed.  Now, we had to run, so dad made some phone calls and we now had 6 spots.

I started "training".  I would run 3 to 4 miles during the week and then a longer run (between 9 and 10 miles) on Saturdays - note that I was not consistent in my running and only got in 3 or 4 long ones and my weekday runs were sporadic.  Most of our group was planning on just walking the whole thing so I figured I had a place to go if the running was too much...


Until, I got a call last night.  They weren't going to run.  There was a lot of smoke in the air.  Another one had the flu.  And one (Kelsey) forgot her running shoes!  I had to run it, but I didn't want to run alone...


so here is my little testimony of prayer.  It was about 9:30 and time for me to get to bed so that I could get up at my 3:00am wake up call. I knelt down and told Heavenly Father my dilemma.  The race had grown to mean a lot to me, it was an accomplishment I wanted to have, but I didn't want to experience it alone.  I didn't want to get french toast at the finish line by myself.  So, I asked him to find someone to run with me. At 9:40, my friend Spencer texts me to wish me luck. I tell him that it was just me.  That I was nervous, but I had to do it.  Then of course, I thanked him for his support.  I am not sure if it was a joke or not, but he replied with, "Oh man, I'm sorry...want me to run it with you? haha" Now, that was probably more of a joke on his part, but this was looking like an answer to my prayer!


It was.  Spencer and I ran that race!  And he was such a good running partner.  We made it all the way to mile 10 before we needed to stop and finished in about 2 hours and 15 minutes - beating my goal by a whole 15 minutes!



The run was a great experience.  I picked Spencer up at about 3:35am and got to American Fork High School right at 4.  We were on the first bus to the start of the race, but we didn't win anything from the raffle (even though we were feeling real lucky).  We did get some mickey mouse disposable gloves to keep our hands warm though!

We sat at the starting line for 2 hours.  I ran into a mom of one of my students and we chatted for a little. We bounced around, trying to keep warm.  And we signed the "Cancer Sucks" poster.  Then, I noticed Porter up in the corner of the huge blow up screen.  His picture was up there!  My aunt Michelle had submitted it and there he was!  It almost had me crying.

Finally, we were just minutes from go time and just anxious to actually start running!

We must have been just past the first mile marker when we ran into this...

I ran it for him. 

Then between marker 10 and 11 (the longest/worst two miles EVER), I got the following reminder:

So, we kept going.

From Mile 12 in, it was time to run and give it the last bit that we had.  As we were turning a corner, knowing the final stretch was near, I heard my name.  There were my supporters - Mom and Porter, cheering me in.  It was a pretty fabulous way to end the race.