now, if you haven't gotten at least a few episodes into season 2, there are spoilers ahead...
petra miscarried four years prior but is pregnant again. she's one bedrest, but has been such a sass & fired her last two nurses, forcing rafael to work from her suit & care for her. he finally calls her out on it & gives her some attitude back.
poor petra. she finally breaks down & says that she "had to" fire the nurses. "they kept smiling at me & saying, don't worry, you're gonna be fine. that's what they said the last time & it wasn't fine."
that's when i started crying for her, the made up character in my telenovela. but she gets it & i get her. the idea of pregnancy...while I want it so unbelievably bad, it is also absolutely terrifying.
you know, the past few weeks i have been really impressed by women, just women in general. we do a lot. we are so strong! & then we carry loss & continue to care for children, our spouses, ourselves, & each other. i love my pregnancy loss sisters, so much. we get each other & having someone who understands that pain, that hole (or those holes) in your heart.
so when petra said those words, i had to stop & write.
also, ihadamiscarriage posted this beautiful rainbow with a question that hit me. of course, i have my rainbow baby (one sassy, bossy, & incredibly perfect rooney), but i still daydream about our next baby constantly.
& for those of you who read about my meeting with my doctor - so far ALL blood tests have come back normal. it kind of leaves me at a loss. i was hoping we would find something, but instead more waiting & more tests are coming.
thanks for reading more of my feelings & letting me spill them to someone who just might get it.
xoxo
1 comment:
Love it. I am sorry you have not had any answers. It is so hard. Our genetic testing came back negative for any issues too. We kind of just tried it all until something worked. Still don't know if it worked because of what we tried or just because it worked. Ya know?
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