Sad day in cougartown.

I am sitting on my best friend's driveway, waiting to get in our car and leave.

Tonight we played Utah (one of the greatest football rivalries) and we are losing worst than we have ever lost to them, EVER. Yes. That we are still playing and I am sitting in a driveway means that I left early. Me. Someone who would give her life to BYU football, left.

My dad just said, "I am disgusted Tati. That is all it is. Disgusted."

Melanie, my partner in crime who has been going to games since she was a kid, left early for the first time tonight too.

Worst part is, for some reason I never ever even thought we would lose tonight!

I got to Provo at 4:00ish. Oh how I love Provo pre game. I hung out with Alyse and dad BBQed for lunch. Dad and I went to the press conference and then found our seats, in good spirits and completely happy.

(Let me tell you how much I don't like sitting on the west stands. No one stands up. No one dances. We went to visit Rosie and Josh at our old seats at halftime. I had a sudden reburst of energy. I was dancing. And at the time, we had a chance of comeback, but I am getting ahead of myself.)

Things quickly changed. We start the game with the ball and they push us back and on the third down, the snap goes wrong, Heaps jumps for the ball and this all seems like a nightmare. He fumbles in in the end zone. ESPN says "1st quarter (13:58) Heaps, -8 yd run." What a way to start the game.  They are up because of us and we are only 1 minute and 2 seconds into the game...

It just goes down hill from there and I honestly don't want to talk about it anymore.

I am listing to my dad and uncle talk. Dad said, "That first series set the tone for the entire game. I have never been this upset with BYU."

I am the most depressed I have ever been post BYU game.

Sent from my iPhone


**** It is now Sunday morning.  I just wanted to give some updating thoughts, because even though I did say I didn't want to talk about it anymore, it is ALL I am thinking about.

No matter what though, I need everyone who knows me to understand that nothing can take me away from BYU.  I will always support them.  Blue will always be my favorite.  I will always smile when I see my team run onto the field.  I will always sing the fight song.   I will always stand up when I sing my fight song.  I will always come to every single home game and travel for a few away games in a season.  I will always be proud to be a cougar...

but sometimes my pride gets hurt.

I could not sleep last night.  All I could think about is what I will be hearing at church now that we live in Salt Lake County and the things my work buddies will be saying!  Please no.  Can't I just say:

Ute fans, you guys killed us.  Dominated us.  Tore us apart.  Congratulations.  Now, let's move on.

Melanie has been my favorite person to talk to.  Boys, if you want a girl who really knows her football, she is single and a total babe.

 Last night, after I told her I was writing a depressing football post for my blog she said, "I wouldn't even know what to say.  It'd be too graphic for facebook I'm afraid. No joke!"  I just love her.  The two of us let BYU sports determine our moods.  I love loving football, but sometimes life wouldn't be so hard if I could care a little less.

So this morning I texted her in my lack of sleep and fear of confronting Ute fans.  The response I get from Mel is priceless.  Here are some of my favorite parts:

"I have a headache too!!! Ugh.  I am so glad I didn't stay.  They scored two more times!!...Man, what a way to wake up!  It's like a bad hangover!!!"

All exclamations and not the happy kind, but more a this-is-me-shouting-via-text exclamation.

Another friend, Andy, said, "If that game were a tree...I would cut it down."  When I told that to Mel, she just told me she would have burned the tree and then burned it again.

Aubrey informed me that in New York, her and fellow Cougar alumni were throwing things at the TV.

To end I have a few things to say to Cougar Football.

Dear Cougars,

I always have and always will support you, but last night you let me down.  I keep thinking of things that maybe I could have done differently that might have helped us (like dance, stand, or sit in my seats that you have all become so accustom to me being in), but times have changed and you have to accept it.

May I just remind you too, that I spent a good amount of money to watch you guys play in Texas last week.  I am truly dedicated to our team.  I thought losing by one point was rough, but seriously, being dominated by the Utes KILLED me.

I hate leaving games early, but you guys pushed us to it.  There is nothing like being a helpless fan and watching your team be destroyed.  I will be hearing about this game from every Ute fan I know for at least a year, until we can really show them that we can win.  I know you guys are feeling it bad...so I hope that this week Bronco really lays it on you, makes you work like you've never worked before.  Because if we lose ONE more game, who knows how long it will take me to recover.

           Love,

                    Tati
(Your #1 fan who might be just a little too emotionally invested in BYU football.)