a birthday

Today is my friend Robi's birthday...

This is not just a normal birthday.  I am not sure how to put into words the feelings I have or really say this the way that I would like to.  Last October, I kept thinking about my friends Robi and Sam.  We had been good friends for a few years and of all my friends I have made at BYU, they are definitely the ones I have stayed closest with.  So, I texted Sam on October 22, 2009, telling him that I wanted to get together and see him and the boys.  That was when I found out that Robi had been hurt in a longboarding accident just prior to my text.  I instantly knew this wasn't just a regular Robi injury and since that day, I have missed one of the greatest men I have had the privledge to share my life with.  I have thought a lot about that day.  Thought about why I had texted Sam instead of Robi.  Why this injury unltimately took Robi from us.  Why it even had to happen to Robi.  But, I can say that Robi fulfilled his mission on this earth and did an amazing job at living life to the fullest.

This is Robi's first birthday that we are celebrating without him and it has been far harder on me than I thought it would be.  He has been brought up in my life a lot lately.  I will see things that remind me of him or for some reason, he comes up in conversation.  It is amazing how he is still everywhere and I really wouldn't want it any other way.

My commute to work has provided lots of thinking time for me and I have taken full advantage of it.  I start my drive by praying out loud, which is so nice, and then I get to listen to a few General Conference talks.  Today, I mentioned Robi, his family, and friends in my prayer.  I also mentioned that I needed a little extra comfort.  Then I turn on the talk that I was on and it happened to be President Monson's talk from last April's General Conference.  Read it.  It was the comfort I needed.

Yet, with all of this comfort, I cannot say that I have not spent a good amount of today crying.  I am so proud of Robi and the life he lived and I know that he is only doing more important things, but I do hurt because I still miss him.  I am not sure how to say this in a way that makes sense,  but I was looking at pictures today and when I look at his face I feel like I have seen it recently.  It is like he really is still a huge part of my life.  He was an example of service, selflessness, and true charity.

I hope this makes some sense.

All in all, I love you Robison Sundell.  I miss you more than I thought I could miss someone.  I see your goodness in so many things.  You have made me a better person and I am so grateful for our friendship.

p.s.  We are going to Wingers tonight - all to celebrate you!  What an impact you have left.  Thank you.  <3