roller coaster

I am done being a downer. Now please don't think that I am done being sad...because I have never been so up and down in my life. I really am an emotional roller coaster, so I am sorry to any of those who come in contact with me from now on until I get better.

I just went to dinner at my grandparents. I ate more than I have in the last 3 days combined and I feel so so sick. But it was delicious. My cute cousin, Samantita, just got back from studying the last semester in Buenos Aires. It is so nice to have her back. We watched family videos and ate empanadas, pastel de papas, Lyman's bread, and salad. Wow.

So, things are hard in life right now, but I have come to realize that I need to really focus on my Savior to get me through this. I have had a few evenings now where I have been completely alone and really been able to study and pray. My heart is hurting and I just can't imagine my Savior feeling this heartache times 100 to understand all of the heartache that every person on this earth goes and has gone through. I feel Heavenly Father's love but it doesn't keep my heart from hurting. Mostly, I am rearranging my focus. Someone told me this analogy about a puppy. You get a puppy and you love this puppy. He is always waiting for you when you get home from work. He makes you happy. There is this bond and life is easy. Then you come home one day to find out that your dog has been hit. Everyone is trying to give you their neighbor's brother's puppy or telling you to come over and visit their puppy, but they don't get it. You want your puppy and nothing can compare to your puppy. So you know what you have to do? You have to go to the pet store and buy a fish. Something completely different and focus on that for awhile. So, I have found my fish and I am going to work on improving myself.